Way back to college essay

? College the keys of today to open the door of a brighter tomorrow Kajohn Hillman ENG 121: ENGLISH COMPOSITION I (GSC0940I) G. Denise Lance As I sit here now and reflect back on where I was and my thought process a year ago I would have never believed that I would have ever taken the chance to back to school. This was always a dream of mine but always just a dream.

I always said to myself “ Kajohn you need to do something to better your life something that will make you feel fulfilled because retail isn’t”, I would go home and literally cry myself to sleep because I knew in my heart that there was something more and I knew I wasn’t going to get it or attain it or achieve it unless I made some changes and some serious changes because I was on the road to a breakdown. I was working 70 hours a week at a place I liked which is the kindest word I use because it was a roller coaster there The establishment had great people but the customers and the requirements for the job just drained me. I worked for a company that dealt with high profile people and rich people and always thought they would be happy but to tell you the truth they weren’t they were some of the most evil people and it wore on me because I started to become the person I hated most, I was becoming my own worst enemy. Retail when I started at 16 was amazing it to me was “ God” there was nothing that would have phased me. Everyday I got to go to work and dress people up, everyday I got the chance to make someone look and feel so much better than the way they came in.

To some extent I felt like I had given them a new life where their old one had died sounds crazy now but back then to me it was my chance to make my stamp on the world I had found my calling and I ran with it. My retail career was booming It was growing and I was getting promoted left and right I was making good money I was moving up the ladder of success so fast that I missed alot of things that I really wanted to do I didn’t take the time to think of my future and were I truly wanted to be I didn’t have foresight to realize that with this gift of promotions came more responsibility and more hours and more stress but i was a trooper and Hey I ot to do what i loved right?. This one question that one thought would haunt me and stay in my mind. and continue to stay there.

I was now twenty one yrs old and was just about to be promoted to a district manager in training now I felt this is where life truly gets good I could now start to give back I could make a difference I could give my peers the wonderful chance I was given. This was now truly what I was in retail for I saw I could change lives, give smiles, raise self esteem and foster a sense of team work all the while knowing I was putting things I truly desired to do on the back burner. So let me explain why I had a hunger for something other than retail something I had wanted to do since I was 7. I was adopted and before I was adopted I was a child of the system before I was 6 I had probably been through 67 foster homes 20 transitional homes and a few as they called them boys homes. I was abused and molested and all around mentally crushed. Never having that safety or a sounding board or a hiding place to go to when things got rough or too hard to handle was the harsh cruel reality I had to endure and from age seven while still being part of the foster system I knew I wanted to make a change I wanted to stand up and give those who had no voice a chance to be heard, children that had no place to run a shelter to hide under and those who were outcast because of whatever reason it may have been a outlet to be free to just be. I didn’t know back then what it was called but now I do I wanted to be an Advocate and a Children’s Home Director with a twist I want to take all the stigmas out of your typical idea of a boys home or foster home and make it more of a home life give these kids a sense of family and a true feeling that someone is looking out for them this was my true passion but retail seemed to be my calling and I was so good at it that everything fell by the wayside and got swept under the rug because I didn’t want to leave my surefire safety of what I was great at for something I was passionate for and wanted to literally die to do but for the uncertainty of the future I stayed .

Years and years went by and I was climbing up the ladder but little by little the profession I picked the job I loved the enjoyment and the fascination started to wear off and although I was moving up I wasn’t getting the joy I once felt, the sense of accomplishment was all but gone. Everyday I got up to go to work I hated my job little things started to annoy me. The smile on the faces didn’t do anything for me I would just smile blankly back and would go about my daily duties all the while knowing the end was coming for me and I always said when I started not caring about my job and I let things slip or I did them with no enthusiasm and I wasn’t going to work then It was truly time to go and look for something new. In mid January of this year I decided I wanted to go back to school and get my life and affairs in order because I realized that only when I got my degree and my education and I was able to get my passion back that I would be able to be happy and I would feel accomplished. I knew that degrees go far and say so much about the person and the more you get the more drive and dedication and respect you get. in the workplace. Nowadays you seemingly cant get the same jobs or promotions without a masters degree that you could have gotten with a bachelors degree.

I decided that when I could devote the time and seriously put forth the full effort towards school I would do it because I wasn’t getting any younger and I didn’t want the better years of my life to slip away and me regret the decisions I made or didn’t and the opportunity arose for me to go back to school and well happily here I am. I still work in retail close to sixty hours a week and I have to have some serious time management to work everything in there but the benefits definitely the extra effort those nights when I wont get eight hours of sleep I may only get four because I have a paper to do but in the end this degree will give me the backing and the tools and the know how to further myself . I still don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner but I’m glad I chose to take the steps to make the change but I see the light now and I see the path that leads me to my point on the map. In a couple of years I be where I want to be and Ill have accomplished much and at the end of this road I will be that child advocate I will be that voice for those all around me with this degree I will have the confidence and the world will be mine so I say College today the world to conquer tomorrow.

The road is stacked in front of me with allot of obstacle but with my determination and my drive and my constant pushing I will succeed.