Two old black men on a leicester park bench

The genre of this text is a non-fictional dramatic monologue from the point of view of one of the men, although he sometimes slips into a stream of consciousness when reminiscing on his past. With background research I began to develop a story for the characters. I decided that they would be Jamaican as Grace Nichols who wrote the poem I used as my base text is originally from Guyana and this influences her writing. The text itself really interested me as there were so many ways I could have taken it.

Do you dream revolutions you could have forged or mourn some sunfull woman you might have known. ” This part of the poem influenced me the most as my character mourns about the war and a woman he fell in love with. The narrator is the man on the bench who remains nameless so the audience can create an image of him by themselves because whilst doing research I discovered that once someone recognises a name it often makes them think of the person they know rather than the character that has been created.

Not much is known about what he looks like; emotions are the main factor in this story. The story being told from the characters point of view helps the reader form an allegiance with him as they feel the emotions he feels. In reality he is cheating on his wife which should make us dislike him but it does the opposite as we feel what he is feeling and become understanding. The story begins with a rhyme, ” Half of our lives were spent fighting, fighting on their behalves, they have us to thank for the air they breathe, yet no thanks were ever received.

This is in respect to the base text which is a poem and portrays the character as artistic and more feminine rather than masculine, even as a soldier. It then continues to inform us that Jamaicans fought in the war as to them England was their mother country which not enough people know, this is the part that makes it believably non-fiction as it is a fact and makes the following story more convincing – my story could stand alone as a short story but its important for the target audience to know the history of the war, so my text has the desired effect of entertaining but also evoking emotions.

As the writer myself I had very little knowledge on Caribbean’s and their part in World War Two but I think this helped my text relate to the reader who didn’t know much themselves before reading the story. During my background research I also read ” Windrush” by Mike Phillips and Trevor Phillips – lots of short stories and thoughts on numerous Caribbean’s first hand experiences on their travels to Britain.

This gave me a very useful insight as they spoke of facts as well as opinions; it also helped me transform it from a 1st person poem to a 1st person narrative through the emotions portrayed and the historical context. expletives are used in the story, ” nigger” is used to shock and sadden the audience as the etymology is one of slave trade and hate. The second is used to describe the food as ” shit” which gives it a comedic feel and makes us feel bad for him as a soldier having to fight and eat ” mush”. Use of alliteration in this sentence about ” mush” helps the sentence to flow easily and it also draws attention to the particular adjective used and the subject involved so the audience realise how bad they had it.

Jamaican slang is used because he talks English throughout the story which could make the reader forget where he is actually from and for Jamaicans reading the story they can relate with it more and will probably find it amusing as Demaine who says ” Na badda them, na badda mi” is obviously scared. The character also mentions how he stood up for all of them even if it left him ” battered and bruised”, this depicts him as a brave man who fights for what he believes in and this warms the audience to him even more.

The target audience would be people who have read ” Two black men on a Leicester park bench” and have always wanted to know the story behind them – that is why I also included Grace Nichols in the story as the woman looking at them. They would either be Carribeans who relate with the story but others would also enjoy it as the history is explained but it is also a romance story. The romance story begins as soon as ” Nadine” is mentioned, there is no doubt that he was in love with her as he admits it straight away.

The first thing that hit me were her intense blue eyes” makes this obvious as you would never describe a friend this way. The sexual tension builds as the complex syntax begins because tt slows the whole pace of the narrative. As they converse it becomes evident what will happen as he responds to her question, “… but I know that’s not one of the many questions you want to ask me. ” He then continues to put words into her mouth. There is a clue when she says, ” Have you not heard the expression ‘curiosity killed the cat’? that there will be a tragedy in the end.

The reader’s opinion about ” Nadine” is most probably the same as his because we are living the story through him. He only has good things to say about her and she also admits she is lonely so the audience feel for her and also understand her point of view although it is never shared from her. The tone is mostly informal as it’s made up of his thoughts and feelings which create an intimate relationship between him and the reader as they see things through his eyes.

Although there is humour there is also a very violent tone when her husband attacks her. This stuns the audience as it’s a very serious twist, the syntax becomes simple to quicken the pace which makes the reader want to read on. The end paragraph sums the whole relationship up because although they aren’t together – the memories lasted forever. I chose to end the story abruptly and without a ” happy” ending as life is not like that in reality and the reader can relate to this, much like Grace Nichols left a hanging ending in her poem.