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Essay, 1 pages (150 words)

The deadly nature of the aids virus

The second paragraph deals with the mysterious nature of the AIDS virus. The author stresses the point by showing that the disease can affect a person and not even know they are carrying the virus. The paragraph works well, but one sentence seems out of place. The sentence that talks about prevention do not really go along with the main idea. This sentence should have been moved to a later paragraph.
The third paragraph focuses on the prevention and treatment of the disease. I thought this paragraph worked best of all. The topic sentence was tight and all of the supporting sentences related to the topic.
The fourth paragraph was a fitting conclusion. It is hopeful and upbeat. It stresses the advances doctors have made in combating the disease.
I think the essay is a good one. Staying true to the topic sentence in each paragraph will make the essay work better. It is a very informative essay.

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