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Self assessment

Emotions in Conflict Resolution and Techniques to avoid engaging conflict Affiliation: There are a lot of emotional anxieties when arriving at solutions to various conflicts in our society. Such conditions are even shoddier when one tries to separate personal emotions from other’s emotions in a way to strike a volitional balance. It is common to say that emotions are the fuel of conflict but is also important to note that understanding emotions can be a source of solution to conflicts. Some widespread emotional responses that expose concerns about individuality are shame, anger, and pride. Shame and pride go hand-in-hand in that, and pride is linked to the parties’ feeling of proximity and connectedness and shame often results if parties’ feel that their relationship is threatened. Such feeling of disgrace or humiliation can lead to unacknowledged shame that if not managed by parties involved can result in a prolonged conflict. If this humiliation persists and remains unaddressed, hurt feelings and shame is likely to give rise to anger, hostility, and conflict intensification (Mayer, 2010). To this extent, the substantive causes of conflict may become less significant than the parties hurt and fury feelings.
Reading through chapter one of dynamics of conflict resolution by Mayer, one revelation that unravels are that emotions contribute the vigor, dynamism, courage, and determination that allow people to Participate forcefully in conflict. The understanding that, emotions are escalators of conflict has not only informed of how to deal with such feelings now but also in future conflict resolution. I have learnt that everybody’s emotional makeup is the desire to seek relationship, affirmation, and recognition. Therefore, indisputable expression of sadness or concern is vital in tackling conflict successfully. Sometimes, individuals may feel unsatisfied even when a sound agreement is reached. Therefore, a long healing process is typically essential in dealing with conflict (Mayer, 2010, p. 11). Another way of dealing with emotions in future conflicts is to focus conciliation efforts on the relationship among disputants and less on attaining specific agreement (Mayer, 2010, p. 12). Understanding conflicts is the most important vehicle for appreciating many disagreements that are necessarily present in our efforts to settle differences.
It is an uphill tussle for people to accept that conflict is inevitable and is not in most cases good or bad. Acknowledging conflicts in our lives can lead to many important lessons being learnt that can lead to growth of society and individuals. Being cognizant of this fact; however, individuals are in a dilemma of whether they should avoid or engage in conflict. From my assessment, there are five major guidelines to consider in making such critical decisions. These approaches include history of conflict, the emotions invoked, my values, structure or framework available and my interest in the conflict. The highlighted are major reasons that may provoke my decision.
Conflict cannot always be solved, but a productive reply can, usually, be reached to move the conflict down a constructive course. Such reply can occasionally escalate conflict so that it materializes into peoples consciousness or takes on a higher priority for resolution. It then necessitates the need to solve such tussles through various methods, which include negotiation, litigation, and arbitration. However, I at times use different methods to avoid engaging in conflict. The first is the collaborative technique, which is a let’s work together approach that is a highly assertive and cooperative style supporting solving of issues to obtain durable outcomes.
The second technique is the accommodative method. I employ this reasonable approach in situations of no or little long-term importance and therefore, enable me to show reasonability hence creation of good-will. Finally, is the compromising technique, which is moderate confident and cooperative. It is an approach that satisfies everyone’s anxiety and therefore, makes both parties equal and their connection insignificant. However, there is one approach that I never use and would not advise its use. It is the competing approach, which is highly assertive than cooperative. Selfish-style that puts much weight on winning than considering what others may desire.
References
Mayer, B. (2010). The dynamics of conflict resolution: a practitioners guide. John Wiley & Sons.

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