Personal statement on jealousy

At one point or another, we feel a pang of jealousy. It’s either we want to become the person we feel jealous of or we hate them for being them. The bottom line is we want to be like them because we don’t want to be in our situation. Why? Most of the time, it is because of insecurity. We don’t feel secure about ourselves, we feel we are not enough. Or worse, we believe that we cannot be more than who we are to become who the person we feel jealous about. This means we don’t want to accept who are. We don’t like who are. And we are trying as much as possible to think that who we are at that certain point is not good enough. We feel insecure because we are unsure about ourselves, because we don’t feel good about ourselves. Basically, we don’t like who we are. And this becomes a problem, especially if we constantly feel this. It will gnaw through us, destroying not only ourselves but also the person we feel jealous about. Fr. Robert Lawton believes we need to embrace ourselves fully in order to achieve security about ourselves. If we are unable to accept our self then we won’t get rid of insecurity and jealousy. Fr. Lawton also said the journey to be oneself or the process of embracing all of our self seems to be the riskiest journey. I agree with this as the journey of accepting all of our self, our positive and negative side, is tough. It is not easy and we may falter along the way because of the difficult tasks that lay ahead. It is particularly difficult because of the feeling of insecurity. This may hinder us from accepting our full self. We need to get rid of this feeling in order to fully accept our self. Getting rid of insecurity is the toughest challenge in the journey to embracing one self. And once we get across this hurdle, it will be very easy for us already to begin accepting everything about who we are. The journey is risky because we will encounter not just the insecurity hurdle, but we will also encounter challenges that may come from other people. It is not unusual that even if we feel insecure about ourself, someone else wants to be like us. People compare and because of this comparisons, people tend to categorize themselves as above or below another person. Once you categorize yourself below another person, insecurity gains. Once you categorize yourself above another person, pride occurs. This endangers our goal of being able to accept everything about our self. The focus of the journey is not to compare nor place one self above or below another, it is to accept one’s weaknesses and strengths and use it to feel better and secure about one self. This is important in order to gain the much needed security we have for our self. The journey is risky because it may engrave even more the feeling of insecurity everytime we face a challenge. It is a double-edged sword, it may develop our well-being or it may essentially destroy our core, making us mere followers of those we feel jealous about, or mere actors who pretend that they are someone they’re not. Why is it important we accept our self, and why is it essential we undergo the risky journey? Because that is the only way we can be happy. Of course it is frustrating everytime we think, feel and see that someone else is better than us. With the journey, we will be able to stop ourselves from comparing ourself to other people in a constantly negative manner. If we think about other’s well-being as a challenge to become better, to develop our own well-being, then we are a step toward accepting ourselves. Isn’t it a great feeling that we are not burdened by negative feelings? Accepting one self helps us get rid of these feelings and vice-versa. We will only be truly happy if we are able to really see our self without the persona of someone else looming behind us. We can only be happy if we let go of comparison, insecurity and jealousy because this way, we will be able to see who we can be, who we are for other people, what we can do and how we can become even better than who we are right now. Comparison, insecurity and jealousy ties us down, it does not allow us to move forward. Being able to move forward propels us to our goal in life, and for most, well, for me, it is to be happy. This journey is especially important for me as a college student. I believe that the journey I am to undertake through my college years will develop my character and well-being. I may be insecure at times but because I can accept who I am, I am not tied down with the many negative vibes attached to insecurity. I may be weaker than others but I can bounce back. I may not be the best but I can be the best. I believe that the journey to oneself does not stop with acceptance. It is a continuous search for who we are. I believe that the character development we go through all the phases of our life is part of our journey. It will not stop as we live. We will only truly be one with ourself when we die. I believe that the happiness we feel in every success when we face our insecurity challenges is the happiness that we will eventually feel as we leave our living life. I know who I am and who I want to be. But who knows what will happen next month, or after my first exam? As much as I expect to win over those challenges, I know the risks as there are a lot of factors to be considered in the journey. Friends, colleagues, family, mentors, even enemies. All of these people around me may be part of my success or failure. Even myself. And so the first step I should be making is toughening up my decision making skills in order to help me get through the journey of being one with myself.