Peer feedback

English 2001 Peer Feedback Form Instructions: Read one of your mate’s rough drafts. Create a new document, copy the questions below onto it, anddevelop answers based on the rough draft that you read. Post your feedback document in the thread that your classmate started when she/he posted the rough draft. Then give feedback to a second rough draft.
Writer’s name: Rachelle Ellis
Reviewer’s name: _________________________________
Present the author’s thesis in your own words and discuss whether it is persuasive and whether it provides an accurate guide to the direction of the paper.
The thesis of the author is that alternative medicines are effective in treating minor burns, nasal allergies, and high blood pressure, and they are better than over-the-counter drugs because they have little to no side effects. This thesis is clear and provides a strong direction to the entire paper.
Which are the essay’s strongest arguments? Why?
The essay’s strongest arguments are the arguments for garlic and the herb butterbur because of the evidence using credible sources. They support the efficacy of these alternative medicines when compared to drug options.
Which are the essay’s weakest arguments? Why?
The weakest argument is for aloe vera because of the appeal to tradition fallacy. Just because something is used for thousands of years, it does not mean that it is an effective treatment. There should be studies that support that aloe vera helps heal minor burns with little or no side effects.
What counterargument(s) are addressed and rebutted? If they are not present, suggest at least one counterargument and how the author might answer it.
The writer addresses counterargument on the application of these alternative medicines to all levels of diseases: “ While it is not a good idea to try to treat second to third degree burns or extreme high blood pressure on your own, it is a good idea to consult your physician about using alternatives to modern medicine until such a time that your body requires the extra boost from the chemical medications.” This argument is helpful because the writer limits the application of alternative medicine and cautions people to not immediately depend on it.
Does the author use signal phrases to introduce quotes? (Signal phrases are discussed in more detail in section 10g of The New Century Handbook. ) If so, provide an example. If not, suggest the correct way to do this.
The author does not mention her sources in the sentences anymore and just puts in-text citation. For instance, the paper says: “ While butterbur can cause allergic reactions in people sensitive to marigolds and ragweed the more common side effects are belching, headache, fatigue, and gastrointestinal issues” (NCCAM. NIH. GOV, 2012). The writer should have also mentioned the organization and its mission/goals, thereby determining its biases, for instance: “ According to the The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (2012)…”
Are all quotations followed by in-text citations that include the page or paragraph number?
The quotations have proper in-text citations, but the paragraph numbers are not added though.
Are all quotations followed by explanations that interpret the quote?
Yes, the quotations are followed with explanations. For example: “ Increasing the intake of the herb garlic assists with the reduction of the high blood pressure similar to the effects of Lisinopril. Rather than the extreme side effects that are possible with Lisinopril garlic gives side effects such as breath and body odor, upset stomach, and a thinning of the blood(NCCAM. NIH. GOV, 2012).” The writer explains that garlic has side effects too, which helps balance the interpretation of the garlic’s benefits as an alternative drug.
Does the author ever directly address the reader? If so, point out a sentence and show how this sentence could be written more formally.
The author addresses the reader, which reduces the formal quality of the paper. It also uses first person, which can be changed to a third person voice. One of the changes suggested is for this sentence: “ While it is not a good idea to try to treat second to third degree burns or extreme high blood pressure on your own, it is a good idea to consult your physician about using alternatives to modern medicine until such a time that your body requires the extra boost from the chemical medications.” It can be changed to: “ While it is not a good idea for people to try to treat second to third degree burns or extreme high blood pressure on their own, it is a good idea to consult their physician about using alternatives to modern medicine until such a time that their bodies require the extra boost from the chemical medications.”
Make additional comments here (this is the place to share your own thoughts and reactions to the ideas):
This paper is well written with good transition sentences. It also acknowledges the difficulty of knowing the right dosage for the right kind of diseases. The paper can be improved by removing first and second person voices in the paper.
English 2001
Peer Feedback Form
Instructions: Read one of your classmate’s rough drafts. Create a new document, copy the questions below onto it, and develop answers based on the rough draft that you read. Post your feedback document in the thread that your classmate started when she/he posted the rough draft. Then give feedback to a second rough draft.
Writer’s name: Gretchen Mackey
Reviewer’s name: _________________________________
•Present the author’s thesis in your own words and discuss whether it is persuasive and whether it provides an accurate guide to the direction of the paper.
The thesis is that it should be legal to torture terrorists because of the time sensitivity in saving lives and because torture will make it easier for the interrogators to know the truth. In other words, pain will help terrorists be truthful in their words. The thesis guides the arguments of the whole paper.
•Which are the essay’s strongest arguments? Why?
The strongest arguments are the essentiality of time and the utilitarian aspect of reasoning because they are logical to some extent, even if the act of torture is inhumane. For instance, torturing terrorists can make it easier to get information from them. In addition, the harm to one person is less important than the harms to the people who will die if the terrorist plot is successful.
•Which are the essay’s weakest arguments? Why?
The weakest argument is saying that torturing leads to terrorists saying more than what is asked because this is problematic for those who are willing to die for their cause. They might even kill themselves rather than spill something to help the authorities. In addition, the argument of torture is also weak because it is unsure if the suspects are true terrorists. What if the authorities are wrong? If they are torturing the wrong people, then torturing becomes unproductive and wrong.
•What counterargument(s) are addressed and rebutted? If they are not present, suggest at least one counterargument and how the author might answer it.
The counterargument is unclear but this seems to be it: “ Hundreds or thousands of lives are worth torturing one evil human being into giving information.” The writer is saying that it is true that it might be inhumane to torture a person, but the ends justify the means.
•Does the author use signal phrases to introduce quotes? (Signal phrases are discussed in more detail in section 10g of The New Century Handbook. ) If so, provide an example. If not, suggest the correct way to do this.
The author does not use signal phrases or in-text citation. An example of what should have been done is: “ According to the website of Messerli (2012) of Balancedpolitics. org, “ Timely information is needed to break up cells, capture wanted terrorists, and prevent thousands or millions of deaths; this information can be obtained in a timelier manner by administering torture.”
•Are all quotations followed by in-text citations that include the page or paragraph number?
The paper lacks proper in-text citations.
•Are all quotations followed by explanations that interpret the quote?
The paper does not have explanations for quotations, since nothing is properly cited.
•Does the author ever directly address the reader? If so, point out a sentence and show how this sentence could be written more formally.
The author directly addresses the reader. This sentence can be changed: “ If you torture them, they are more likely to tell the truth because they fear for their lives and they just want you to stop hurting them.” It can be changed to: “ If the authorities torture the terrorists, the latter might be forced to tell the truth…”
•Make additional comments here (this is the place to share your own thoughts and reactions to the ideas):
The essay tackles an interesting and controversial topic but lacks proper citation. The writer can improve the paper’s credibility through the right use of empirical sources and proper in-text citation.