- Published: December 17, 2021
- Updated: December 17, 2021
- University / College: University of Massachusetts Boston
- Language: English
- Downloads: 7
This is my homework assignment from my Therapist. My next appointment is on Friday. I’ve been thinking a lot about it since he gave me the homework. Which is probabally exactly what he wants me to do. It also makes for a good blog post.
Having my own family is the most important thing to me. My ideal family would be very similar to the one I grew up in. Mom and Dad were married and never argued. I never knew about any kind of financial problems they might be having or any problems between my Mom and Dad. We lived in the same house and I went to the same schools until I was 15, when my Dad’s job got transferred to San Bernardino. I had a very secure and stable home environment.
This is the kind of life I want for my kids and myself. Unfortunately, I made a wrong choice for my “ life partner” and never got to have that for my kids or myself. Not that I would take back the last 10 years for anything in the world, because I two very beautiful children out of it. But I didn’t choose someone who was stable.
I think this is one of the reasons why I was so attracted to Jerry. He’s lived in his house for 8 years. He OWNED his house. I’ve rented the entire time I was with Joel, so it was nice to have someone in my life that actually owned a home.
So anyways, back on the subject. I already have the kids; I just need a man to complete my family. At this point, I’m not sure if I want any more kids. I think if I loved him enough and he really wanted a child, and we were married and it felt right, I would be willing to have another kid with him since I love being a mom so much.
My ideal guy would have a career. It wouldn’t matter what he does as long as he made enough for us to live off of, along with my earnings. He would be attractive, a hard worker, caring, giving, affectionate, fun, spontaneous, and love me and my kids unconditionally. He would have to learn how to deal with me without fighting with me, for I can be very emotional and tend to over react. He would also listen to me and value my opinions. If we have a difference of opinion, he would listen to my point but also give me his without getting mad at me (or me getting mad at him, which I really need to work on) for having a difference of opinion. My guy would come home to me every night, that is, unless there was a very important reason why he couldn’t. He would help me with the household chores such as cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.
This “ Ideal” man would complete my family. We would live in a nice house, the kids would have their own bedrooms. We would do all kinds of fun things as a family, but me and my man would also have our alone time to grow as a couple. We would be supportive and encouraging of each other’s dreams.
I think I have a lot to offer my significant other. I have all the qualities that I’ve listed above with the exception of the stability. But for now, I’m going to save my money so I can buy a home for me and my kids to live in. Weather it be a mobile home or a house, I want to own the next place we live in. That’s a dream of mine that I’d like to come true. But I know it won’t come without self-discipline and a lot of hard work.
Jerry posses about 97% of the qualities listed above. The 3% that doesn’t work for us is the fighting. I think my biggest flaw is my temper. I don’t know how to argue without getting really upset and wanting to leave the scene. I would push Jerry away when all he wanted to do is love me and hold me when we were arguing. I get so angry I just want to withdraw and run and cry. This is something I need to work on more than anything if I’m ever going to have a healthy relationship with anybody. I don’t treat my kids or my family this way, only my partner. Why is that? Why do I have to get so upset with that person to where I don’t want to be around him, even when he’s trying to calm the situation? I lose all rational thought and I have so much anger inside me, I just blow up. I didn’t learn this from my parents because they never fought. I guess this is why I need therapy.