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My first and last love essay

It all started when Mikaela was in secondary school. Her class consisted only 35 students. She was an introverted and shy girl. Nobody talked to her as she never gave her classmates a chance to get close to her. She was never interested in any kind of relationship. Whenever it comes to a group work, nobody wants her in their group. All she does was to wait if a group lacks a member. Even when one of her classmate made fun of her, she kept quiet. I once told her that she should no longer be an introverted girl, yet she doesn’t know why she can’t.

One day, a new boy called Nathan entered her class. He was fat and dorky. She believed that he would be no different from her. However, he was actually an outgoing, nice and smart boy. He was kind to everyone. He praises everybody, especially her. He said, ” Whoa! I’m sitting next to a genius girl!” when he was sitting by her side. She knew she wasn’t even that clever, but her English was the best. She doesn’t know why he was getting closer to her. He was crossing the boundaries she drew, getting closer and closer to her. She started to get annoyed when her classmates started gossiping about them being together. It hurts her pride, totally. She wanted to shout out that she would never fall for a fat boy, ever!

But she won’t deny that since he became acquainted with her quite well, a girl called Queenie became closer to her and Nathan. The other classmates paid more respect to her too. And they were soon known as the trio of the class. Mikaela hates when her classmates took photos of her and Nathan together as they would make fun of both of them. She doesn’t want this pig head Nathan! Their classmates even edited their photo and made them look like a couple. But she has to admit that she was soon being able to open up herself to him, telling him every single secret about her.

Entering university, Mikaela, Nathan and Queenie entered the same university, though majoring in different faculties. Mikaela was no longer an introverted girl. She believed that she was in love with Nathan, but she guess she was still too shy to admit that she like an ugly, fat boy.

One day, Queenie asked Mikaela to talk privately with her. Queenie: Umm… Well… Mikaela, you see… I want to ask you something. Mikaela: What? Queenie: Umm well… Aah, it’s embarrassing! Mikaela: Spit it out. Tell me quick! Queenie: Umm… Do you… By any chance, in love with Nathan? Mikaela: Nope Mikaela doesn’t even know why she answered “ no”, seriously. She guesses it’s because she wasn’t ready to take the fact that she was in love with a boy who wasn’t reliable, and on top of that, bad figure. Moreover, she was too nervous to digest the words before replying.

Queenie: Seriously? Mikaela: Yeah… Queenie: Then… Can you guess why I’m asking you this question? This made her insecure. She was too naive to think that Queenie was just randomly asking. And her guess was right. Queenie likes Nathan, just as how Mikaela likes him. Queenie told her how she has been in love with him, how she was glad that Mikaela wasn’t in love with Nathan. In fact, Mikaela regretted for not telling the truth. What should she do now? She knows that her best friend was in love with her crush, and she lied to her best friend. She doesn’t want to stab Queenie from the back, but she could no longer hold on this feelings. Mikaela loves him, that time, she was sure, she loves him. Madly, like there was no tomorrow.

It was a hard decision for her to decide that she’ll stay away from Nathan, to give Queenie a chance. She promised, the next time she meets Nathan, she would no longer treat him as she used to. She vowed that she took him only as a brother. However, it was easier said than done. There’s no way she could suppress this passion. As a result, she was only getting closer to Nathan, as she was afraid that Queenie would someday snatch him away from her. Whenever she sees jealousy in Queenie’s eyes, she felt guilty and knew that she mustn’t do this. But seeing them together, she felt like dying.

On Mikaela’s 21st birthday, he brought her a bucket of roses, 21 in number. As he knelt down, he said, “ Mikaela. You see, I’ve been in love with you all this time. I am madly in love with you. You are my everything. I’d do everything for you.” She was stuck at his words. It was unexpected. Her feet felt as heavy as the rain. She didn’t know what to do. Making the matter worse, she realized, standing behind Nathan, across her, was Queenie, covered in tears. Nathan then opened the red box he has been holding, inside was a star joint with a moon shaped ring.

She said to him, “ I… Nathan, that was touching. I love you too… I love you more than you think I do… But I think you misunderstood, I only take you as a brother”. As she rejects him, he no longer talks a lot to her nor Queenie. She was feeling guilty as she hurt him and herself too, but if she didn’t, what would become of Queenie? Ever since witnessing that day, Queenie never talked to her anymore. She guesses Queenie was mad at her. She then decided to work overseas, to forget about Nathan. To forget how regretful she was for rejecting her first and only love. She was too stupid to deny her own feelings, only to cause this awkward atmosphere.

2 years later, she returned from working overseas. Soon, she arranged a meeting with Nathan and Queenie. She felt nervous, yet excited to see them. Never did she believe that once again, she could sit on the same table with them. She missed this atmosphere so much. “ Well… I have something to talk about.” Queenie said while giving her a bright smile. “ Me too. You go first.” Mikaela replied. She guesses this would be the beginning of our rebuilt friendship. A nice and new beginning. “ Here.” Queenie said while handing her over a card, “ that’s our wedding invitation. It’s tomorrow. I’m sorry for only telling you this now. Due to your absence, we couldn’t tell you about the news immediately.”

She could not believe in what she heard, neither she wants to. Her sight blurred, she doesn’t want to believe this fact, this cruel fact. She hoped this was only a dream, yet that dream completely vanished when she saw Nathan and Queenie’s name on the card. Her tears was soon formed and gathered, yet she held it on, not trying to make herself look more embarrassing. Queenie even offered her to be her bride’s maid. And she agreed to it quickly.

That night, she cried in her bed. She cried till there was no more tears left, no more voice left. She cried for hours. She wishes she could turn back in time or at least stop the time. She doesn’t ever wish that clock would turn 12 o’clock midnight. The next day, in the morning, she was still lying in bed, thinking about how foolish and stupid she was to free that true and last love. However, she took the challenge one more time. She put on a gown and came to Nathan’s house. She saw him in his suit already. He looked handsome, gorgeous and wonderful in her eyes. For her, it felt like a Cinderella’s dream to see a living prince right in front of her eyes now. He then returned her stare. That stare she has been missing so much this year, the stare that she has been missing like crazy. If she loved him with all her heart, she would have followed her heart and feelings to be with him. Unfortunately, she didn’t and regretted in the end. I wonder why she didn’t follow her heart to be with him. And to this day, I still don’t know why she did it.

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