Free essay on gender and religion

7.
A) My primary idea on a miscommunication between men and women often happens in a long-term relationship. At least, this is what I think after witnessing my parents interactions where this often a lack of words.
My mother takes part in amateur demolition and renovation projects. My father, on the other hand, does not. He is usually MIA when it comes to picking up a hammer—myself included. When my mother renovated an apartment, she had hoped and expected that her enthusiasm would encourage her husband to join in. He did not. But my sister, without prompt, volunteered. My mother and sister worked on the apartment for six months and I didn’t know this was a problem until there was an argument months later. This problem was specifically based on what wasn’t said.
Since my mother did not outright ask my father to help her, he did not. I find women do that a lot: want men to do something without actually saying it—but often throw in a lot of heavy suggestions, grunts, or loaded language to get the idea across. That kind of subtlety is a waste of time. If I want my long-time friend to help me, I am going to ask him straight out. And in return, he would answer if he was able to. That’s it. There’s no long, drawn-out, waiting for him to suddenly show up and lift a fifty-pound bag of debris. I would like to think if my mother took into consideration the underdeveloped DIY history between her and her husband, she could have responsibly been proactive in requesting her husband’s assistance. After all, he must have been pretty comfortable in not helping her up to this point, therefore he not suddenly volunteering now.
B) Another miscommunication that comes with male-female interaction is body language. I have rather outspoken friends. Usually when there is a miscommunication it is because someone was deliberately ignoring the exchange and decided his or her own opinion or action was in the right. Otherwise, I’ve noticed that females are very lively when they talk. And now that I’ve noticed that, I’m aware that women do a lot of hand-dancing to point or wave or flip their hair when speaking. Because of this, I know they are listening or at least paying attention to me. These tactics of interaction scarcely exist amongst my male friends. We do a lot of talking, and confirm our listening skills with nods. Our gestures are also scarce with maybe a few shoves, elbow-nudges, and back-slaps. It was not until I met quiet Miranda, that I encountered a breakdown in communication.
I couldn’t tell if she were ignoring me or listening. I couldn’t tell if she was bored, or mildly entertained. If a guy had done this, I know he doesn’t want me around. So when meeting Miranda, I always wanted to get away from her as soon as possible. I thought she had a flat personality, especially in comparison to the females I know. But baking was one thing that my female friends didn’t do. Miranda liked to bake biscuits and cakes. I told her how good they were and the next time she paper-bagged some cookies for me.
It was not until Miranda had disappeared that I learned from a mutual friend that she had a substantial crush on me. Apparently, Miranda, would extensively recall things that I’ve said; and she admired my wide collection of plaid shirts. If she had liked me that much, what didn’t she do something about it? Why didn’t she speak up? The friend declared that being given the cookies was a firm example because I was the only one Miranda had given them to. I say it was a very unclear message. I had a better impression of her having nothing to do with me than noticing the pattern of my shirts. If you like someone—say it. Or flirt, at least. If Miranda had said something, we could have talked about it, and I could have felt wiser.
C) I had the opportunity to work in a small business run by a husband and wife team. I had little knowledge of entry-level inventory but I was hired on an in-training basis. During this week of training, there was another person. After speaking with her I learned that our experience was pretty similar and that we had overlapping aspects of the same job. Very soon, we were distinguished by how our bosses spoke to us.
Our bosses were contrary personalities. It was notable that the husband was a pretty curt guy, and it was understood that he treated everyone as if he had something better to do, compared to his wife who was talkative and forgiving. When the husband explained things, I understood him—when the wife did, I had to rope-in the conversation to make sure if she knew what she wanted me to do. I understood the husband as business-oriented and the wife as a friendly manager. My coworker preferred the wife, since she thought the husband was standoffish and thoroughly unpleasant. When it came to dealing with him, I wanted to prove myself by speaking in efficient sentences, concise questions, and told him promptly when I didn’t know what I was doing—my coworker did not like doing that. She wanted someone to stop, explain, and be amiable at the same time. The wife had those qualities but I would be more confused by the end of the explanation.
In the end, my coworker quit. She accused the husband of being rude, inconsiderate, stifling to be around, and that he hated her. How I can defend this as a breakdown in communication would be the archetype between a chatty woman and a no-nonsense man. Because the husband was minimal, I had a larger margin of error, and that gave me much more responsibility in what I applied to. I didn’t see him as a horrible guy, I just thought of him as my boss. For my coworker to believe him to be offensive, she was definitely used to more obliging personalities. I think if she had spoken to him about his ethic, or stepped up to wanting to be his employee instead of his friend, she would still have a job.
8. 1 I understood once that Gender and Sexuality were equivalent. The classic default was all guys like girls; and all girls like guys. It turns out, it’s more complicated than that. And it’s an issue since the basic concept of a man and a woman is considered the only admirable concept. Often I see limited scenarios of If you are a Guy who likes other Guys, then it’s over, you’re Gay—but only recently has this sexuality been deemed okay enough to be published in the mainstream. Somehow, the equation is not compatible for women because If you’re a Gal who likes other Gals, then you’re just waiting for the right Guy—or willing to be someone’s fetish. (And there’s a pretty long history of how aesthetically-pleasing lesbians are deemed.)
When hanging out with Charles and Lisa, I encountered how limited the boy-plus-girl concept was. Lisa had said that she didn’t have a boyfriend, and never had one. She also said she didn’t want one, couldn’t see why it was necessarily, and did not want to try it. Unfortunately, Charles instantly stamped her as a lesbian. He made the conflict worse by making Lisa’s perspective invalid. Now they were arguing. Charles said it was okay to kiss other girls and Lisa immediately took offense to that. She declared again that she was not interested in girls, she was interested in boys—but she only wanted to be by herself. I interrupted, asking “ Why would you like someone and not want to be with them?” To this, Lisa said “ You can like how someone looks, and maybe the touch of someone, but not ever want to have sex with them.” Then Charles said “ That’s called Friends,” and Lisa said “ That’s called Ignorance.” Apparently, Charles and I were of the classic mindset whereas Lisa was onto something else. Lisa broke away from the satisfying boy-plus-girl equation. Unfortunately, because of that, she was automatically a suspected-homosexual.
I found out there are much more elaborate connections between Gender and Sexuality. In a way, this information resolves the difference that Lisa was incline to, but completely leaves a lot of people scratching their heads—including me. I originally summed up and understood this as Boy Plus Girl Equals Good. The actual philosophy between Gender and Sexuality is actually broken down into a lot details. And that the actuality of that equation includes a lot more to consider. Personally, I don’t have a problem with what Lisa’s up to. Do I understand it? No. I think hugging and kissing someone is a pretty great idea. But if she’s happy that way, and it isn’t hurting anyone, then I do not see a problem—nor do I think she is mechanically a lesbian because of it. Truthfully, whatever feelings Lisa has about romantic relationships, it’s not like these types of things are taught or explained in school. I never even heard of, let alone, considered the angle Lisa has towards relationships. I wouldn’t mind a prompted discussion but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a frustrated to understand it as Lisa was irritated to explain it.
8. 3 In my house: my mother cooks, my sister cleans, and I take out the trash. These are not clear-cut and strictly-enforced gender roles, (at least, I don’t think so). But it is what usually happens. I don’t think these tasks ought to be based on gender. After all, these things happen because of conditioning; because women were used to being home-bound and men were not. Can the same be said of today? Not exactly. Thousands of people are working from their homes; and there are quite a number of househusbands and stay-at-home dads, so I’m sure cooking and cleaning is switched and adjusted in their houses.
When it comes to my own home, I admit that my mother is much more particular to teach my sister how to cook than she is with me. I often hover when there’s an aroma in the kitchen, and I proudly know how to shuck potatoes and bake ziti. If I were not allowed to have this skill I would have to live off of cold pizza, but also I wouldn’t have any secret recipes to bless my future children with—or impress my girlfriend. And in mentioning a girlfriend, if cleaning is only women’s work, it would leave me a narrow possibility of keeping a girlfriend. If my living place is a sty, then I would need a female to keep it clean. And that doesn’t say too much on how emotionally dependant I am, nor does it give my girlfriend a lot to like about me. What would be pretty cool is if Home Economics was a class no different than a science course. And I mean that as an equal opportunity outlet rather than something meant to recondition girls. I hardly think Home Economics in school would be an archival class, especially since a lot of the popular million-dollar programs today include house flipping, DIYers, and cooking. I think Home Ec would actually narrow what kids were interested a lot sooner.
As for taking out the trash, it’s a tiny aspect of the household, but I wouldn’t say it’s exclusive to men. For thousands of for years men have been the sole breadwinners. My father does not make his money within the comfort of his home. He dresses up and meets the world and comes back with a bi-monthly paycheck. That is considered normal. In the meantime, I don’t see him often, and he’s tired on weekends. My mother follows a similar schedule but I’m fortunate that her energy allows me to have more experiences with her. Oddly enough, having two working parents doesn’t allow more family time. When I take the trash out, the only way this would be a more equitable task is if my mother were the breadwinner, my father a househusband, and if my sister were un-domesticated. So after a sweaty day of preparing clean, cooking, and napping, I ask the women to take the trash out. I see flipping gender roles around would make it equitable for me. And redistributing and sharing the household chores with my sibling. Then we would interchangeably put out the garbage.
9I was raised in a Baptist household. I myself have Baptist beliefs. Fortunately, there is no singular definition of being a Baptist that covers all of its members. And there shouldn’t be. Nearly the same can be said of Baptists when it comes to sex and gender roles.
For the longest, leaders have been men (pastors). Women only fit-in to support their leaders. Women supported their men almost solely through domestic activities. Nowadays, women have the freedom to be missionaries. In a way, this is an opportunity for women to be leaders, if not their own variety of headship. Being allowed to the work of the mission meant women have the opportunity to meet new people, meet new places, learn languages, and preach. I’m fine with that idea, even though it was originally men’s work to do. Without women, I feel that it would be cheating and denying a lot people from being closer to Christ. The mission gives women a chance outside the household to show how devout they are—they could also have a valuable perspective. Women can be influential leaders or deaconesses in some churches but aren’t allowed to be a pastor in others. I can understand why, but it really comes down to whether you’re a traditional or more secular.
Baptists do agree that homosexuality is a sin. No exceptions. This doesn’t mean you are any less of a person for being gay or lesbian. It does mean you should ask for forgiveness, repent, and do better because of it. But like I’ve said before, not all Baptists share the same definition. Not all of us will turn homosexuals away from the churches; it’s just that all of us know that that kind of sexuality is not a virtue.
A religion I know about is Judaism. Like Baptist, in Judaism, men and women are both allowed to the teachings. And again, like the Baptists, Judaism is essentially patriarchal, if not exclusively.
Men are the spiritual leaders (rabbis), they lead the services, preach, read from the Torah, and are allowed to stand before the assemblage. Women express devoutness by not studying the Torah because it would get in the way of their domestic obligations. This means women don’t pray in public, do not have leadership roles, and cannot have a voice under the Torah’s commandments. I think that’s pretty strict because it’s emotionally a one-sided relationship. In the synagogue, the crowd is segregated. Men are center of the sanctuary, and the women are kept in a separate section or a balcony. Fortunately, domesticity is very important within Judaism and is connected with maintaining family purity. She has to make sure her family is eating the correct foods and that the in-house rituals are performed accurately. I do like that aspect of Judaism, even if it stunts the women’s potential but emphasized her natural tendencies to nourish her family. The Baptist church is not so demanding of that kind of teaching but I don’t consider it to be a suffering but definitely a characteristic explored by all houses of God when concerning leaders and their flock.
Something really interesting about Judaism is that sex within marriage is a holy circumstance—and their leaders are expected to have families. In fact, under law, depending on how time-consuming her husband’s job is, women are to be sexually gratified. I think that gives women a certain kind of power. Surprisingly, some Jewish women, like Baptist women, have been afforded more expression in appealing to their faith. Unlike Baptist women, a Jewish woman can prove her devoutness to the point of obtaining the highest level of leadership. She can be a rabbi. As for homosexuality, like Baptists, Judaism has a mixed crowd. While there are some who may allow it, others consider it prohibited and a contrary to Judaic beliefs. This divided opinion is enforced by a lack of text in the Torah to validate homosexuality as a rebellion.
Between both religions, the Baptist and the Jews both have a restricted placement for women. Though some women can challenge their individual systems, few succeed. To me, in a world where women outside the faith are acquiring more power outside the home, I think it is only right for the same to occur within religious houses. Not only does it leave less temptation to wander from the faith, it also allows a wife to understand her husband and for him to enjoy her in a new way. Concerning the complicated matter of homosexuality, both religion are particular on how it is disallowed. It’s really a matter of how open we believe God is. It is also to do with how faithful His people want to be.