Awaken the giants with in philosophy essay

Kiran SiddiqueRoll # 1146112

Personal Management

By Madam Sheela Siddiqi

Awaken The Giants With In Anthony RobbinsC: Documents and SettingsAyesha rajMy DocumentsDownloadshow-to-master-your-emotions. jpgAWAKEN THE GIANT WITHINHow to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical & Financial DestinyANTHONY ROBBINS

Index of Parts:

Part 1- UNLESH YOUR POWER

Dreams of Destiny

Decision -The Pathway of PowerThe Force That Shapes Your LifeBelief Systems: Power To Create Or DestroyCan Change Happen In An Instant? How To Change Anything In Your LifeHow To Get What You Really WantQuestions Are The AnswerThe Vocabulary of Ultimate SuccessThe Power of Life MetaphorsThe 10 Emotions of PowerThe Magnificent ObsessionThe Magnificent Obsession

Part 2 – TAKING CONTROL – THE MASTER SYSTEM

Ultimate Influence: Your Master System15. Life Values: Your Personal CompassRulesReferencesIdentity

Part 3 – A LESSON IN DESTINY

UNLEASH YOUR POWER

Awaken the giants is the story of real changes in the inner soul by little effort of understanding yourself. This story is based on four parts in which incremental level of unleashing your power, control of yourselves, seven days therapy of success and finally a lesson & step to destiny have been high lightened. ANTNONY tried to discover and make people realize that empowering people will make them learn the outcome of their own lives is not easy. In fact it’s an overwhelming task. But he was succeeded in his destiny and arouses a mind jolting information, stories, strategies, philosophies that assisted people in empowering their lives and they make the changes in their lives they desired most.

1. DREAMS OF DESTINY

Main Idea

In the first part of ties off dreams to destiny Anthony quotes his life experience that his craving and frustration bought him to his destiny of success where he sees himself from concierge to business executive and the therapist of dreams. His life s quest was to restore the dreams and to make them real. When he flew off the old memories the crowd of 7000 surrounded him, he proclaimed the incredible stories utilizing his principles of state of management, success conditioning, emotional management, principles of leverage. After he delivered his seminar he was wondering that a guy he himself made such a remarkable history, such staged changes. The key to his success was the ” concentration of power” which moved him to the ladders of success because he says people never have a bash on their focus, they never give a try, they major in minor things and unfortunately they pave their failure and claims to be useless wood. His own quests became an obsession for himself one heart touching question that endorses mu mind was ” What makes people’s lives an example and others a warning”. He developed a sense of belief and tried to make people belief as well was we all are sleeping giant within us. We all had to contribute something unique to environment. He studied the humans as in worked with number of people from CEOs , presidents to managers , mothers , lawyers , salespeople, counselors , clinically depressed people who had no personality and able to jot down all he met with. Anthony wrought out some principles to carve humans life (mastery principles)RAISE YOUR STANDARDS: He tried to provoke the sense of loving one’s self not to accept what one cannot, no longer tolerate and aspire what one thinks off. CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS: He provoked that our beliefs led to shape our standards, our actions , every thought and every feeling that we experience. CHANGE YOUR STRATEGY: until you devise a role model for your selves you won’t be able to raise your standards with a firm belief. The areas in which one has to be mastered he exposed were: Emotional masteryPhysical masteryRelationship masteryFinancial mastery

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers thatwould astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forcesthat would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.’’—- Orison Swett Marden‘‘ A consistent man believes in destiny, a capricious man inchance.’’—- Benjamin Disraeli

2. Decision -The Pathway of Power

Main Idea:

Man is born to live and not to prepare to live. How am I going to live the next ten years of my life? How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to. What am I going to stand for from now on? What’s important to me right now, and what will be important to me in the long term? What actions can I take today that will shape my ultimate destiny? Different actions produce different results. Power of decision.

Supporting ideas:

Everything that happens in your life – both what you are thrilled with and what you’re challenged by – began with a decision. It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped results.   least one clear cute decision that you’ve been putting off- take the first action toward fulfilling it – and stick to it!  By doing this, you’ll be building that muscle that will give you the will to change your entire life. To direct your life, you must exert control over the consistent daily decisions that are made. Decisions are the father of actions, which in turn lead directly to results. Therefore, to achieve the required results, look closely at all decisions which have been made. External conditions have little if any influence on a person’s ultimate lifetime or career achievements. Most people are so busy making excuses that they never take the time to sit down and set a baseline minimum standard for what they will accept out of life. The interesting and exciting principle is that any person can do almost anything they want – if they make a decision to commit to that course starting right here and now. Making a decision isn’t just wishful thinking. It literally means to cut off every other possibility and to focus solely on the one outcome to which you are totally and unequivocally dedicated. That’s why what you focus on is so important: because whether you acknowledge it or not, you literally become what you focus on most of the time. Key ThoughtsI conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pain be the consequence, and pains to be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures’ – Michel de MontaignePeople consciously or unconsciously gravitate toward life experiences that provide more fun, more joy, more laughter, more stimulation, excitement, etc. Advertisers know the power of shaping our lives by linking pleasurable sensations and emotions with ideas about their products. They are expert in using imagery, music and sensory stimulation to heighten our emotions. Having aroused us to an emotional state, they simply flash an image of, or message about, the product. It remains with us, closely bound to those pleasant emotions. We can harness pain and pleasure to change virtually anything in our lives. We can deliberately amplify emotional pain and attach it to negative, self- conquer behaviors. The only alternative then becomes a move away from the negative experience towards a more pleasant and rewarding outcome. Associating maximum perceived pleasure with a desired outcome – and rewarding yourself amply along the way – will speed your progress and make your journey infinitely more enjoyable. Always remember that the journey is at least as important as the destination.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.’’—- Anthony Robbins‘‘ Man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances arethe creatures of men. Nothing can resist the human will that willstake even its existence on its stated purpose.’’—- Benjamin Disraeli

3. The Force That Shapes Your Life

Main Idea

Whatever you link pain to and pleasure to shapes every aspect of your life. Every person has the ability to change these associations at will, therefore changing actions and ultimatelydestinies.

Supporting Ideas

Human beings always act rationally to avoid pain and gain pleasure. Every person will consciously or unconsciously act to do whatever they consider brings pleasure, and to avoid whatever action brings pain. You can use this to your advantage by amplifying the pain or pleasure links. In other words, mentally exaggerate the pleasure that will come from doing something positive or the pain that will come from some negative action. The more vivid and intensive these link the more influence they will have over your decisions. By making intense emotional links to whatever you choose, you can instantly change your behavior. In fact, by linking sufficiently intense pain to the behaviors you want to stop, and by keeping those links fresh and vibrant, you won’t even want to consider those behaviors any longer. Note, the driving force is not actual pleasure or actual pain, but a belief that one action will lead to future pleasure while another will lead to future pain that influences actions.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not dueTo the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you haveThe power to revoke at any moment.’’—- Marcus Aurelius‘‘ The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasureInstead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, You’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.’’—- Anthony Robbins

Belief System: Power to create or destroy

Main Idea:

It is not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.

Supporting Ideas

The meaning we attach to any event has a great influence of who we now are and where we will be headed tomorrow. Beliefs are the key to how different people view the same event. Generally speaking, most beliefs are based on past experiences of painful or pleasurable results. They are personal explanation of the results that can be get from any particular course of action. Once accepted, they exert incredible power over our future actions. The brain cannot distinguish between something that is vividly imagined and something that is physically experienced. That means that you can literally accomplish anything by developing the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide. All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. To change a belief, mentally associate large and massive amounts of pain with an old belief, and equally large amounts of pleasure with the new belief. The Japanese use kaizen – meaning constant improvement – as an essential business principle. It means that companies look for a small way to improve their products every single day. The English equivalent of kaizen may be: CANI, which stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. The principle is the same. It is a commitment reinforced by action to gradually but steadily continue to improve. CANI is a positive approach. There is no need to maintain the quality of life, because you will already be hard at work trying to improve it. CANI generates true security which comes from a constant, consistent effort in knowing that every single day, you are a better person than you were the day before. In the final analysis, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you consciously or subconsciously give it. Therefore, the biggest changes are made internally, regardless of your particular external circumstances.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Under all that we think, lives all we believe, like the ultimate veilof our spirits.’’—- Antonio Machado‘‘ Only in man’s imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence. Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art, as of life.’’—- Joseph Conrad

5. Can Change Happen In An Instant?

Main Idea

Neuro-Associative Conditioning (NAC) is a process which associates incredible and intense pleasure with whatever you wish to embrace and unbearable and immediate pain with whatever you wish to shun.

Supporting Ideas

Most people work under the assumption that changing the habits of a lifetime for new and better habits takes a long time. In reality, however, habits can be changed immediately and permanently . If proper conditioning takes place. NAC is the process by which immediate change can occur. Your brain automatically seeks whatever provides pleasure and shuns whatever produces pain. This is your key to total control over your life. By assigning sufficient amounts of pleasure to the behavior you require, you can create an overwhelming impulse to act that way which will totally overwhelm any contradictory feelings.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use itwell.’’—- Rene Descartes‘‘ Things do not change; we change.’’—- Henry David Thoreau

6. How To Change Anything In Your Life

Main Idea

The six steps of NAC are: 1. Analyze exactly what you want from life and what has prevented you from achieving it until now. You’ll achieve whatever you focus on most intensely. If you keep focusingon what you don’t want, you are programming yourself to achieve more of that. 2. Create motivation to change immediately and urgently. Find a way to link intense and massive pleasure to making the change AND exceptionally powerful pain to any feeling of procrastination. Both the level of pain and pleasure must present compelling reasons to make a change in habits. 3. Interrupt the normal pattern of your thoughts. Most people think about their favorite subject the same way again and again, rehashing old feelings over and over. Break free. Picture a different ending, using humor and exaggeration. That helps you remember the old situation in an entirely different light. 4. Come up with an attractive new method to produce the same benefits you derived from your old habits. Find an immensely pleasurable alternative to replace the current addiction. 5. Condition yourself. Visualize your alternative course of action with emotional intensity. Use repetition and emotion to reinforce the positive benefits of the alternative. Take a strong positive approach, stressing the benefits. Develop ways to reward new patterns of behavior immediately. A pattern that is reinforced becomes a habit. 6. Test your programming. Visualize a situation which caused frustration in the past. If you’ve followed the steps correctly, you should now feel differently about it. If not, go through

Key Thoughts

‘‘ The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but everytime we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add it to anotherfilament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.’’—- Orison Swett Marden‘‘ Good and evil, reward and punishment, are the only motives toa rational creature: these are the spur and reigns whereby allmankind are set on work, and guided.’’—- John Locke

7. How To Get What You Really Want

Main Idea

Deep down, what is it you most crave from life? In the final analysis, your life’s greatest desires are intimately linked to the way you want to feel. All you really want from life is to change the way that you feel most of the time.

Supporting Ideas

There is a direct link between what a person wants to achieve in life and what they want to feel. Material possessions and personal relationships are simply a means to an end – a way to achieve optimal emotional states. This is an important fact. Behavior is the direct result of your current emotional state rather than a result of external factors. Therefore, by changing your emotional state, you can change your behavior patterns. The two ways to change emotional states are: 1. Emotion is created by motion. If you wish to feel a particular emotion, start physically acting as if you already felt that way and before you are aware of it you will actually feel the way you are acting. 2. Whatever you choose to focus on becomes your perception of reality. Therefore, if you focus on things that haven’t happened yet and feel good about them in advance, you create a fertile environment for those things to actually happen. You literally become whatever you choose to focus on. Make a list of those activities that give the greatest amount of personal pleasure and develop meaningful ways to focus onthose activities most of the time. Develop a plan for generating personal pleasure on a minute-by-minute basis. Don’t allow pleasure to crop up unexpectedly – plan your entire day around it and gear everything you do in that general direction.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man doeswith what happens to him.’’—- Aldous Huxle

8. Questions Are The Answer

Main Idea

Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions. Therefore, to think and act differently from how you’ve acted in the past, you need to ask different questions. Supporting Ideas. The same event can happen to different people and they will each feel differently. That is, the meaning a person attaches to any event is derived solely from feelings – which in turn are based exclusively on questions the person asks of themselves (and the questions they fail to ask). In essence, the better the question the better the answer. Questions have a direct and dramatic effect on a person’s focus- you control your focus by asking questions which are positive and creative rather than questions which dwell on the negative. It is the questions you ask (and the hard questions you fail to ask) that ultimately shape your destiny. Questions accomplish three specific objectives: 1. They change what you are focused on mentally, and therefore impact directly on how you feel. 2. Questions allow you to choose something positive to think about at the expense of wasting time dwelling on negatives. 3. Questions, positively framed, often open up new avenues to previously untapped resources you have available. When faced with a new business challenge, you should systematically work through these questions: 1. What is exciting about this new challenge? 2. What should be changed to create the perfect situation? 3. What action am I willing to take to more closely align realitywith my perfect ideal? 4. What price am I willing to pay? That is, what am I willing to stop doing to create my ideal situation? 5. What can I do to enjoy the process while I am working towards my ideal? Because questions can strongly affect mental focus, you shoulddevelop a morning and evening personal question session whichwill enable you to focus on positive aspects of your life.

For example:

Morning Questions:

Dwell on the aspects of your life you are passionately enjoying, Your achievements, whatever you are proud of and the areas to Which you are totally and irrevocably committed to at the present Time.

Evening Questions:

Focus on what has been learnt that day, what you have contributed and positive experiences you’ve enjoyed with other people

.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Some men see things as they are, and say, ‘ Why?’ I dream ofthings that never were, and say, ‘ Why not?’’’—- George Bernard Shaw‘‘ The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has itsown reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when hecontemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelousstructure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehenda little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.’’—- Albert Einstein‘‘ Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the worldis the triumph of some enthusiasm.’’—- Ralph Waldo Emerson

9. The Vocabulary of Ultimate Success

Main Idea

Words have an ability to create emotions which can then be transformed into actions which ultimately shape our destiny. This is due to the fact that beliefs can be formed and changed by words. Specifically, the words you habitually chose and use affect not only how you communicate with yourself but also what you actually experience. By changing your habitual vocabulary, you can actually modify how you think, feel and experience. Specifically, by altering the words you use to speak of and think about any situation, you can consistently and deliberately change your emotional state andyour life experience.

Supporting Ideas

By consciously selecting the words you use in conversation and thought, you can change your life and shape your destiny. You can choose between deliberately using words that are empowering or words that are counterproductive. To put this into practice: 1. Pay close attention to the words you habitually use to describe your negative emotions. For example, ‘‘ angry’’, ‘‘ confused’’ or ‘‘ depressed’’. 2. Develop a list of creative alternatives for those words (like ‘‘ disenchanted’’, ‘‘ curious’’ or ‘‘ on the way to turning it around’’). These alternatives should ideally make you laughor at least feel less intense.

Examples:

Don’t feel like a failure but like a learner. Instead of feeling rejected, feel misunderstood. Rather than being overwhelmed, feel maximized. Don’t feel stupid, feel unresourceful. Instead of feeling irritated, feel stimulate. Don’t say: I hate, instead say: I prefer Rather than being frustrated, be challenged or fascinated. Don’t feel humiliated, only surprised or uncomfortable. Instead of feeling hurt, allow yourself to be bothered. When you’re tempted to say insulted, use misinterpreted. Transform feeling fearful into feeling curious. Never be lonely, only temporarily on your own. 2. Make a conscious and deliberate attempt to use your new word choice whenever the situation arises in which you would automatically have used your old word. In a shortperiod of time, you’ll actually begin to feel and act differently as your thoughts start following the new and preferred pattern. 3. Develop an effective way to reinforce your transformation. For example, perhaps you can have a friend in on the scheme, and have them remind you. 4. Be aware that your new word choice can either intensify positive emotions or lower negative feelings. Select new words that are fun to use, imaginative and effective.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come uponone of those intensely right words the resulting effect is physicalas well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.’’—- Mark Twain‘‘ Words form the thread on which we string our experiences.’’—- Aldous Huxley

10. The Power of Life Metaphors

Main Idea

Metaphors can either stimulate or limit experience of life. When a metaphor is adopted, you automatically adopt the advantages and the limitations of the metaphor when thinking about the new area. Therefore, choose metaphors carefully.

Supporting Ideas

A metaphor is used whenever one principle is explained by comparing it to something else. Familiarity with the metaphor allows us to gain an insight into the new principle. Metaphors are the primary way of learning. They provide a way to visualize something unfamiliar in terms of similar attributes to something familiar. Metaphors provide a frame of reference for new knowledge. By consciously and deliberately taking control of the metaphors you use, you can influence and shape your experience of life’s peaks and troughs. Metaphors are extremely persuasive, and by simply changing your underlying metaphor, you can make a noticeable difference to the way you act and feel. Make a consistent effort to adopt powerful and positive metaphors and notice the change in your life.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ The metaphor is perhaps one of man’s most fruitfulpotentialities. Its efficacy verges on magic, and it seems a toolfor creation which God forgot inside one of his creatures whenHe made him.’’—- Jose Ortega Y Gasset‘‘ All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy.’’—- Henry David Thoreau

11. The Ten Emotions of Power

Main Idea

Some people feel like they are at the mercy of their emotions. Yet, in reality, each person creates their own emotions, and they should be viewed as an important resource and a call to take action. From this perspective, emotions are a signal (or evensubconscious permission) to feel one way or another.

Supporting Ideas

To master your emotions and be in a consistent position to generate positive emotions: 1. Whenever you feel strong emotions, take a step back and ask yourself what are you really feeling. The simple act of clarifying your feelings will often lower the emotional intensity of negative feelings. 2. Acknowledge to yourself that emotions are useful signals. Therefore, feel appreciative that your signal system is operating normally. This act will also strengthen your balance. 3. Quiz yourself on why you feel that way. Are the grounds for those emotions rational or totally unrealistic? Look for reasons you may be feeling that way. 4. Visualize occasions in the past when you have felt the same way and have successfully used that emotion to spur you on to some achievement or another. 5. Build your own personal self-confidence that you can handle this emotion today and in the future. 6. Get enthusiastic and get into action. Take a direct action which proves you’re moving ahead. The 10 positive emotions of power are: 1. Love and warmth2. Appreciation and gratitude3. Curiosity4. Excitement and passion5. Determination6. Flexibility7. Confidence8. Cheerfulness9. Vitality10. ContributionThe key task is to find ways to regularly and consistently cultivate the 10 emotions of power.

12. The Magnificent Obsession

Main Idea

Every person has the power to create a compelling and magnificent future for themselves by setting and then achieving powerful and highly motivational goals. In fact, the achievement of vivid and dynamic goals is at the foundation of all success. Supporting IdeasGoals must be: 1. Envisaged with clarity and in specific detail. 2. Immediately followed through on with the development of a plan and consistent action towards achievement. 3. Vividly imagined and emotionally enjoyed at least twice a day to keep you motivated and on the right track. And remember that in the final analysis, achieving the goal isimportant but the quality of life you experience along the way is far more important.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ We are what and where we are because we have first imaginedit.’’—- Donald Curtis‘‘ Nothing happens unless first a dream.’’—- Carl SandburgThere is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia today, flesh and blood tomorrow.’’—- Victor Hugo

13. The Ten-Day Mental Challenge

Main Idea

The challenge: Take full control of your thoughts and refuse to dwell on any unhelpful thoughts or emotions for 10 consecutive days.

Supporting Ideas

Your habitual pattern of thought has bought you to your present level of achievements. Therefore, to move onwards to a new level of personal and professional success, you must create new and more powerful patterns by: 1. For the next 10 consecutive days, refuse to dwell on any unhelpful feelings or thoughts. 2. Whenever you start feeling negative about anything, ask yourself: What’s good about this? What’s not perfect yet? 3. Whenever you see a challenge, focus on possible solutions rather than on the problem itself. 4. If you catch yourself indulging in negative thoughts for a long period, wait until the following morning and start again. The goal is to go 10 consecutive days with only upbeat thoughts and emotions.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.’’—- Nathaniel Emmons‘‘ We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.’’—- John Dryden

Part 2 – TAKING CONTROL – THE MASTER SYSTEM

14. Ultimate Influence: You’re Master System

Main Idea

If a person wants to change anything about their life, they must either change how they feel or how they act. Of the two options, changing how you feel about events in your life is potentially much more powerful because changing how you feel will automatically change how you act.

Supporting Ideas

There are five elements affecting how a person feels: 1. The mental and emotional state you’re in whenever you make an evaluation of your inner feelings. 2. The questions that are asked as part of the evaluation process can have a strong influence on the answers given. 3. Your value system influences how you feel. You will always feel good when you’re moving towards a positive value. 4. Your underlying beliefs determine expectations and provide a foundation from which you make other evaluations. 5. Reference experiences serve to refine and enhance values and beliefs, and encourage us to ask different questions and move off into new directions. A shift in any one of these five elements will have a powerful effect on the way that you think, feel and behave in a number of areas simultaneously. This can be a powerful force in shapingyour ultimate destiny.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to theircapacity for experience.’’—- George Bernard Shaw

15. Life Values: Your Personal Compass

Main Idea

You can literally change your life’s direction simply by realigning your values to more accurately reflect your ultimate destination.

Supporting Ideas

Person’s values which he holds nearest and dearest guides his every decision, and therefore, holds the key to his ultimate destiny and life’s achievements. In one sense, all decisions a person makes in their life can be viewed as a clarification of their values. The only time a person has a hard time making a decision is when they are unclear on . What they value the most out of the alternatives. Values effectively act as a magnet, pulling us towards those values we hold high and repelling us from those values we dislike and want to avoid at all costs. The key to long-term happiness is to live by your own high ideals, by the strongest possible effect of our positive value system. Many people spend more time worrying about what they want to own, when in reality who they are has a much more powerfulInfluence on how they spend their lives and ultimately what they own. Values are the compass that will guide every person to their ultimate destiny. To take positive and firm control over your values, try the following exercises: 1. Sit down and write out a list of the top ten values you currently hold, in order of importance. Do this by writing on a piece of paper your answer to the question: What’s most important to me in life? 2. Examine your list carefully and thoughtfully. Have you unconsciously set up any conflicts? For example, do you have two values on your list which are completely opposite but are very close in your order of priorities? That will set up huge conflicts and you should re configure your priorities to avoid any such conflicts. 3. Next, write down your answer to this question: What do my values need to be in order to achieve the true destiny I desire and deserve? Put down the values, in order, that a person would need to have to be able to achieve the destiny youhave in mind. 4. Now develop a new list of values which you can work towards embracing with your life’s actions. The new list will generally be a combination of your present values and additional values which are required to successfully achieve your ultimate goal. Incidentally, values can be of two kinds – those you wish to embrace and move towards and those you wish to avoid and move away from. You can repeat the same exercises given above to develop a list of values which you wish to totally avoidin your life as well.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those whodared to believe that something inside of them was superior tocircumstance.’’—- Bruce Barton‘‘ We are what we repeatedly do.’’—- Aristotle‘‘ Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while yourreputation is merely what others think think you are.’’

16. Rules

Main Idea

Most people live by a self imposed set of rules – a set of conditions which, if achieved, gives them permission to feel good and if not, gives permission to feel some pain. In reality, however, these types of rules are totally self-imposed. Therefore, to spend more time feeling good, develop a new set of personal rules which are achievable on a consistent basis, independent of the actions of anyone else.

Supporting Ideas

Many people live by their self imposed and totally arbitrary rules without even realizing they are doing so. Even worse, most people have more rules for things that make them feel bad than they do for events that make them feel good, effectively loading the dice against themselves. Many people’s internal rule systems are a collection of snatches of common wisdom picked up in a variety of different settings. A more positive and rational approach is to take firm and positive control over your own internal rule system, with the objective of creating a number of empowering rules which will make you feel good and a very limited number of disempowering rules which specify when you feel bad. And, the positive rules must be centered over things that you do have control over rather than random life events. In setting up your own rules: 1. Design your rules so you are in control and the outside world has very little effect on how you feel. 2. Set up your rule system so it is extremely easy to feel good, and exceptionally hard to feel bad. Give your rule system a positive bias. 3. Make the trigger points under your rules events that you have control over. 4. Avoid conflicting rules vigorously. Link high levels of pain with any old style disempowering rules, and replace them with positive rules which have intense levels of pleasure attached. 5. Take the time to communicate and explain your rules system to those closest to you. Ask them to help you live by those empowering rules which generate pleasure.

Key Thoughts

‘‘ Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybodyelse expects of you.’’— Henry Ward Beecher