Answer the questions 6

English When tackling a serious project, I find it easier to apply the rules of English by free writing, then revising. This makes it very easy for me to go over what I have written and correcting any mistakes that I could have made. It also gives me room to properly go through my work and make sure that every sentence is well framed and error-free.
2. The following are notable mistakes from the email;
Because is not a proper word to start a sentence. The writer should restructure this sentence.
Too many redundant words such as “ I am”. These words are used as fillers and are all over hence they are redundant.
The writer also repeats so many words and lacks clear sentence structure.
Use of words with the same meaning in one sentence for instance in the third paragraph there is usage of really, extremely, difficult and hard. All these words have almost the same meaning and should not be used together.
Some sentences do not adhere to the correct use of phrases such as “ beyond a shadow of doubt “ is a cliché and should be, “ beyond any shadow of doubt.” In this same paragraph there is misuse of the word impersonal.
Email
To: Roger M Karjala From: Keiko Kurtz Subject: Suggestion for Improvement of Customer Relations
Cc:
Bcc:
Dear Roger,
Following your request for suggestions on how to improve customer relations, I wish to submit some ideas. I am of the opinion that we can enhance customer satisfaction easily by making a change in our counters.
Last December, glass barriers were installed in our branch separating tellers from customers. These barriers have air vents that allow tellers like to communicate freely with our customers. Management thought that since these barriers are bulletproof; they would help in stopping thieves from gaining easy access to the tellers’ cubicles.
However, there were customers who were not pleased by these glass partitions especially since communicating with them became extremely difficult. This is because both the customer and teller had to raise their voices for them to be heard. It becomes even more inconveniencing when dealing with elderly people or someone from another country. This makes the customers think they are being treated in an inhospitable manner.
After some careful research from other banks, I realized we are the only bank in town using such barriers. Most of the other banks are trying causal kiosks and open counters to make their customers feel at ease.
Although easier said than done, it’s my humble suggestion that we give a serious consideration to the removal of these barriers as a primary and first step towards enhancing our customer relations.
Kind Regards,
Keiko Kurtz
Email: k. kurtz@firstbank. com
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