A new phenomenon "girl love"

Before you roll your eyes, I am not here to talk about women being deprived of their rights (that has been established with facts by many learned writers). I am here to talk about a new phenomenon gaining popularity. Girl Love!

Girl Love is a term I came across through a YouTube channel of the very famous Lilly Singh. Girl love simply means love amongst us girls! It means we do not talk behind each other’s back or try to pull each other down, instead motivate and strengthen the other sister.

Women of this generation have been fighting fiercely for their rights. The cries that were silently stifled in the four walls of the house are no more confined to it. Feminism today has gone through so many phases. People can judge all they want but it has accomplished a lot. But somewhere along the way, we became bitter to each other without even realizing it.

To demonstrate “ girl hate” I will be putting it in the form of a story. Let the name of the characters of our story be “ Ana” and “ Ala”.

Ala wanted to buy a new dress. She was very excited. She clicked a picture and sent it to her good friend Ana and asked her, “ Is it too short? I really like this dress, but I don’t know if I should buy this… help!!” Ana responded to it by saying, “ Um, I don’t think so”. The next thing Ana did was forward the picture to some other friends saying, “ How ugly does she look in that dress? I mean does she not notice that she is fat and should not wear a dress that short???” Understandably, others added to the discourse of bashing Ala. According to Ana, she has the right to an opinion and there was no need to fuss about it as Ala didn’t know about the texts. Does that justify what Ana did?

These are the kind of lame justifications we often give for our actions and call it “ right to an opinion”. Girl Love is not an agitation or a group of angry women, it’s a simple notion of love amongst women. We get a lot of criticism already (from the “ sanskari” police) we do not need to do that to each other.

Following are some methods you can adapt to practice girl love:

Stand for your sister: Imagine that you are having lunch with your friends and they start bashing a friend of yours who is not there to defend herself. Stand up for your sister and defend her. But remember, while defending her, you do not have to be mean but firm, to discourage that kind of discussion.

Do not justify yourself: We are all guilty of girl hate, at one point or the other. What we need to do is stop justifying it. Even if someone has been in the wrong, why bash what you hate? We need to promote what we love. Let your light glow so bright that darkness has no place. Immediately stop justifying the judgments you pass on other girls and concentrate on your own life.

Be open-minded: We all see the world in a different light. There are going to be instances when we do not agree with the way the other person sees the world. But, different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong. It means you need not correct them or ask them to change their ways. Just keep an open mind. Being different is not a crime.

Even if you feel that they need to hear your views, subtly share your views rather than enforcing them. Therefore, the next time a sister tells you that she doesn’t like going to a club, don’t call her boring. Respect her choices and live your life the way you want.

Know the difference between playful and mean: There are instances when we feel that we are being playful and say something that might hurt the other person. As I mentioned before, we all see the world in a different light. What seems like a playful joke to you, might not be received in the same manner by the other person. Think before you speak!

Promote what you love: We are going to meet a variety of people in our life. Some are going to be the exact opposite of you and sometimes they might say certain things that go against your beliefs. What would you do then? Get angry? Lash out? No! Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. That is more productive.

So, if one follows Girl Love, the story I shared above should have gone like this.

Ala: “ Is it too short? I really like this dress, but I don’t know if I should buy this… help!!”

Ana: “ Sweetheart you can wear what you like. You look beautiful! Do not wait for an opportunity to be happy. if you like it then buy it.”

(and Ana should not forward it to anyone).

“ When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life.”

Let us try to promote love for each other. Encourage and make a difference in a fellow sister’s life.

What will you do to spread ‘ Girl Love’?