The gray area between relationships and marriage

“ Trial marriage’’ could be perfect words for couples living together. It is a relationship that basically involves no public promise, no promise for the future, no authorized statement of love and blame. Well, when it comes to Bangladeshi culture the stereotypical thinking consider it as a religious sin. In spite of social norms it is becoming every common around us, but it is hard find as most people hide such relationships. I have encounter may people who have a funny way of defining it; ‘‘ living together is a full time job with several benefits and if it does not work out then no harm, just quite it.’’ Personally, I second with the statement as it is a personal choice after all. If two individual is ok with this trial and error version of relationship, I see no crime in it. Moreover, such kind of relation has some benefits which are ignored easily.

Firstly, I would like to mention that I am not against marriage; it’s just that idea is boring, tied up and redundant. Whereas, living together give a relationship a different to breathe in a new and exciting way; it helps a person to evolve himself/herself. Living with anyone will test my boundaries and my relationship with that person. Living together is a safer option nowadays it reduces the hassle of long term divorce battles and unwanted marriages. According to some recent studies in North America experts estimate that ‘‘ roughly 2. 2 million people a recurrently sharing bed and board in a live-in arrangement; this is approximately 1% of the total population.’’ The reason behind this is that most couples are afraid of long term commitments, as a result they living together for temporary basis to see their compatibility and understanding. It basically gives an individual the real version of the other person and a gives a realistic picture of what married life would look like. A couple won’t living in the same roof 24/ 7 while dating, so if they live in together , they will to know each other on a deeper and much more personal level, but here they have freedom, a freedom of choice, a way out, which we cannot find or have in a traditional marriage or relationship.

Living together is not only about sex; it also helps a person to work in a team, to share responsibilities, to split living expense and to make equal compromises. When it comes to marriage, husbands are more likely to bear most of the expenses and responsibility which results into male dominance and in equality. Whereas, in living together the idea of controlling the other person is comparatively low, but if it happens one easily work out of the relationship. Moreover, being ‘‘ in love’’ and being in a healthy relationship are two separate things. Sometimes love beings out the worse in a person, still people tend to continue the marriage even if they cannot stand each other. In contrast to that a healthy relationship might not involve that much love but mutual respect, proper communication and compromise is way better than an unhappy and unstable marriage.

According to data collected by Mernitz and Bush (2017) on a recent study find that women appear to benefit more from cohabitation than men do. I believe that is quite true this is because a female has more freedom, choice of lifestyle, residential and financial support in cohabitation. A woman can easily choose hers desired career path and have a healthy relationship at the same time. More importantly, in marriage there is constant pressure of having child but in living relationship there is no such pressure rather you will feel a gain in emotionally well being. This has been proven by statistics and recent studies. On the other hand, getting married is huge mental pressure with enormous expenses to organize the traditional big wedding. To me, it is just a waste of time and money. And the amount of mental pressure a person has to go through cannot be even explain with words. It is always better to think rationally rather than taking decisions for the society.

However, one should not at first just move in cause they are dating. They should take some time to each other, and move only when they have the confidence and assurance from other person. One should also not cohabit because their own experience or their parents’ divorce as mentioned by Schaefer in Sociology book. Therefore, I believe that before taking any big steps I will consider my own will only rather than the benefits cause no matter what relationship I choose I would not be successful if I go against my will. Living together might also encourage me to think about marriage if the long term relationship works well. Of course, it is definitely a better option than arrange marriage; where I do not even know the other person on personal level. It can consider as a kind of marriage though but without any piece of paper, more precisely, a signature.

To conclude, I would say that people should come out of social restrictions and norms and explore other possibilities. This might help the society to grow and prosper.