Problem

Problem A person is facing a problem when he is uncomfortable with something or is facing the brutality and severity of pain. When a difficulty surrounds us, we often expostulate and ask “ why me?”! This directs us to wonder about, instead of finding a solution for it. Why to spend time pondering over rather than resolving it? Not a single problem is irresolvable. It’s just our mind, way of thinking and intention to solve a problem which can guide us. To solve a problem appropriately, one must consider better options than escaping from it.(R. Sharf 18) Avoidance is not a solution; it is basically a quick move towards a more challenging situation. I believe I have faced enough competition in the early academic years. Since my childhood, I’ve been a shy, reserved and quiet person. I don’t interact with people much due to my hesitation while talking to new people. I feel uncomfortable when I am surrounded by a group of individuals and I’ve always tried to stay out of group discussions. These natural personality constraints led me to the isolation from my social circle. I have had a few friends and even their knowledge was limited about my problems, likes, dislikes and issues. These personality traits seem normal and unproblematic to many people. However, I personally feel that these were the factors that affected my academic performance the most. I never wished to take a position in the class in order to avoid prominence and attention from others. I did not take part in class discussions as I felt awkward and uncomfortable speaking in front of all students and the teacher. I kept myself from asking question even if I had some confusion in my mind regarding the topic being taught by the teacher. When I was a kid, I used to avoid interactions with other kids. I kept myself isolated in the parks, play grounds and even in the school. I used to keep my feelings secret and ideas personal. All these traits resulted in inner conflicts arising in me. I felt irritated by the thought that people avoid talking to me. I felt aggressive and angry when people talked to each other and did not involve me in their conversations. Somehow these were the reactions of my responses to them when they started a conversation or tried talking to me which I avoided most of the times. My parents noticed these problems and were constantly making efforts to make me friendly, confident and sociable. At first I found the lectures of my parents and elder siblings completely meaningless. I was extremely disheartened by the way people ignored me while talking to each other. This was the most difficult phase of my life. I lost my hopes of getting good grades, having friends and making my way out of the isolation that I created in the past years. However, the constant struggles of my parents motivated me to talk to them about my issues. I started discussing my experiences, daily activities and secrets with them. Their friendliness, affection and loving nature made me confident enough to share everything with them. The main problem then, was to change myself in front of others. I felt comfortable with my parents but when it came to other people I still felt the same hesitation and shyness. I started motivating myself to take part in the conversations. I started writing a diary of my day to day activities in order to blow out the negative feelings. I used to feel relaxed after writing the diary. I made a plan to encourage myself on speaking in crowds. Firstly, I started asking questions during the class lectures when I found anything confusing. I started taking part in the classroom discussions and academic debates which greatly helped me to enhance my social skills. My class fellows started discussing their academic and other issues with me which again was considered as an encouraging gesture by me. The first effect of this step was a positive apparent impact on my academic and class performance. I started taking more interest in the classroom activities as people encouraged and appraised my projects, and discussions. I started liking their encouraging statements and appraisals. The teachers’ attentions and remarks on my work and assignments brought a more effective impact on my personality. I started getting social as I felt that people like me for my work and for my qualities. The feelings of hatred and aggression started to vanish. References Sharf, Richard S. Life’s Choices Problems and Solutions. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, 2001.