Non-violent parenting methods

“ Spare the rod and spoil the child” is a parenting method since early centuries. It is believed that violent methods can force a child to distinguish the right from wrong, and an effective way to discipline a child. However, it is also likely to affect the child’s behavior, strain the relationship between child and parents, and hurt the child physically and mentally. The cons of violent methods outweigh the pros; therefore, children are better off if they are raised non-violently.

First of all, violent punishments may lead to children’s violence and aggressive behaviors. Children tend to observe and imitate their parents’ actions, because parents are the best role models for children. If parents use violence on children, the children will find that violence is the best way to solve problem. So, instead of solving problems with intelligence, they will solve with violence, just as their parents did. If every child has the same behavior, the society will be violent and uncivilized. On the other hand, if children are taught patiently and non-violently, they will be more courteous and understandable, thus create peacefulness in the society.

Moreover, training children with violence may strain the relationship between the children and parents. Some children refuse to learn from physical punishments, so violence will only lead them into growing up with hatred and revenge. It can also cause the children not to love you and disrespect you with every chance they get. For example, when parents often practice violence to their children, the children will somehow get accustomed to this type of punishment that they no longer fear it, it may soon foster up negative feelings for their parents or even fight back and hurt each other. Eventually, children will lose trust, love and respect in their parents, as the way their parents treat them devastates their self-esteem.

Lastly, punishing children physically may hurt them not only physically but also mentally. Abuse can happen when parents put in their personal anger when they punish their children. The innocent children have no say but to receive what they do not deserve. If children are hurt physically, they will never forget how harmful the parents are to them and live the rest of their lives with fear and scars. Also, the children may try to hurt or kill themselves because they think that they are never good enough for their parents. They are depressed for the never-ending demands from their parents. This explains why some children commit suicide or harm themselves by cutting their arms, dealing with drugs and so on.

Above all, training children with violence is a heartless form of discipline. Violent methods do not provide any fix to discipline but worsen the situation and cause unwanted effects. There are many ways to train children non-violently such as counseling, nagging, understanding and forgiving, but physical force is never the right way.