My life experiences and changes

My life 1 My Life Experiences and Changes Cynthia Carpenter PSY 202 Laura Prout July 2, 2012 My life 2 This paper will take you on a journey through my personal life experiences and changes. I would like to share with you my childhood memories, teenage years, my ups and downs during my childhood and adulthood, and my reachable and achievable goals. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe my experiences has changed and shaped me into the person I am today. Although my past has been filled with happiness and heartbreak, my personality and outlook reflects upon the present, and the future holds foundations for my success. My life start Oct. 17, 1974 in Peru In where my mom gave birth to her first baby. I am the oldest daughter of Ricky Wright and Debbie white (Wright). Not sure where or how they came up with my name. I grew up in a small town called Peru Indiana where I attended Elmwood Elementary School through the grades of kindergarten to the six grades. Then I attended maconaquah middle school my seventh and eight grade. I returned to Peru high for my high school years where I completed up to my 11 grade. Then I proceeded to drop out with the coming of my second child. I processed about ten years later to go back and take my GED test and past. By the time I had turned 15 (due to abuse I experienced at my home and the arrive of my first child) I moved out on my own. During the time I was expecting my second child and was living with my future husband. A year later my new home was located in Hoover, Indiana which we lived there for a couple of years. Now I will take you on a walk with me while I explain about my family. My parents were married in 1974, and they divorced in 1982 they both have been remarried a couple My live 3 of times. My mom had a heart of gold and helped anyone and everyone she could. My father on the other hand was extremely strict, and a firm believer there is nothing like too much work. Growing up in town with my mom and going to my dads on the weekend in the county, was like living two different lives. While my mom was busy with working all the time I got stuck with most of the work and raising my brothers and sisters. While I continue to discuss my family I was the oldest of 7. There were four girls and 3 boys on my mom’s side. However my mom had three daughters with my dad and the rest followed. I dad remarried and I had a step bother who was older the year he turned 18 my step mom found out that she was going to have a baby. During my childhood years I remember my parents struggling to get bills paid and to keep food on the table. I was never aware of the expenses and how much money it took to raise all of us children. I do however remember shopping at thrift stores and at yard sales for school clothes. To this day I still love to shop at thrift stores and yard sales. I can remember getting home from school and being allowed ten minutes to change clothes and grab a small snack before helping with chores. The chores required taking care of my brothers and sisters. According to Piaget’s Cognitive theory “ children at the age of twelve or older start to wonder about what if” and I definitely could relate as I was trying to understand the logic and the purpose of having all these kids. I felt that they where mine. My favorite memory as a child was spending time with my grandma I was the oldest and she came and got me more than the others, I was the first girl she had four boys so I was a little spoiled. I thought doing that was the best thing in the world. My life 4 While I have experienced more happy childhood memories than hurtful ones, I feel when writing about myself I have to share the bad with the good. “ Life is full of change. The good passes, but so does the bad. Without darkness we would not appreciate the light. ” (Zambucka, K). With this being said I thought since I moved away from the horrible experience it would automatically go away. I did however learn counseling was extremely important to my healing process: as it allowed me to appreciate life without my painful memories. From the age of 10 until I was about 12 or so. The sexual abuse I experienced haunted me for years even after I thought I was “ over it”. Being sexually abused at such a young age and for the length it lasted did much damage to me that I was unaware of. I have experienced emotional and physical abuse due to being sexually abused. Normand said “ you may become overwhelmed, hide your true emotions and blame yourself in return can lead to physical and emotional instability in your later years” (2010). Personally speaking, learning how to cope with the sexual abuse I experienced in my childhood has portrayed an effect within my emotions and my physical outlook. The important people in my life were my mom, grandparents, sisters, and my high school teacher. I use to think no matter what happened my mom would always be in my life. I was wrong and the thought of remembering is extremely painful. My mom was not only my mom, but she was also my best friend after I had my first child. I shared everything with her except the fact I was sexually abused; as I felt like it was my fault and I did wrong and deserved it. When I was 23 and my second daughter was two, and my oldest daughter was three is when I decided to tell my mom that I was sexually My life 5 abused from my step-father. She didn’t believe me even after they weren’t together anymore. When I was a teenager I was known as the shy or backward child. I had very low-self esteem, and I got along with everyone. According to the Adult development, effects of abuse on individuals “ women who are abused may develop feelings of anxiety, depression, shame and low-self esteem” (Buchbinder & Eisikovits, 2003). At school it was as if I was a different person due to I felt I was safe. I was happy at school and I loved being there, and I wished school actually lasted longer than it did. During my teenage years I felt confined due to what had happened to me. I began to act out with boys at a young age and got pregnant at the age of 14 with my first child. Everyone thought that I should have giving her up my thought was that this one is mine. Sometimes I wonder if my feeling confined is the reason I never was happy or satisfied with my job performance during my job. I have worked at many different types of business I currently drive a school bus and work in a nursing home, cut hair for the homeless at the shelter downtown. I have discovered I love to help and wait on other individuals, as I put his or her needs before my own. When it comes to the present time I now have three beautiful daughters, and a son and I’m divorced. My oldest daughter has pasted away when she was 16. She would have been 22 this year, one is 20, 18 and my son is 14. They all have different of personality not one the same. I wouldn’t trade then for the world. Although I have matured much, I know what I expect from myself and others, and the most important and evident is to know where you are going with your life and what My life 6 you expect. I want my daughters and son to know the importance of family and a college education and to know no matter what they are loved and cared for. My dream for myself is to become an accountant/tax preparer, and do the best I can for my family and for myself. I will be completely happy when I achieve “ success, security, and happiness as long as I am honest and work hard my dreams will come true” (Hudson, F. & McLean, D., 2006). To conclude, my past has been filled with happiness and heartbreak, my personality and outlook reflects upon the present, and the future holds foundations for my success. I know the most important key to success is to forgive but never forget. I will leave the door open for advice, and I will take each day as if may be my last. There is always room for improvements, and I am willing to accept. The past is my history, the present is my goals, and the future holds my dreams. My life 7 References Boyd, D. & Bee, H. (2006). Adult Development. Sexual Violence (pg. 71) & Cognitive Theory (pg. 33). Hudson, F. & McLean, D. (2006). Life Launch: 4th Ed. A Passionate guide to the rest of your life (pg. 29) & (pg. 51). Normand, B. (2010). Dealing with Sexual Abuse: Getting help. Retrieved March 11, 2010, from http://www. cfchildren. org