Many argue that women are the most complex

A classic example of this is the ever famous pop-star Britney Spears; a 26 year old who felt the need to go bald due to a failed relationship. This is not the first time that an incident such as this had taken place. Women are attuned a particular type of behaviour that is best described as random. No amount of scientific researches, experimentation and polls can determine what exactly goes on in the female mind.

In fact, Indiana University reported that women are mysterious and hard to read, that they are somehow a completely different species from men-who are open and honest. That just proves the theory the women are from Venus, completely alien to us. Trying to understand them is like trying to put together a puzzle with a thousand pieces when several of them are missing-to put it simply, it is impossible. Often you can spot a woman dressed quite extravagantly for a simple day outside; high heels, sunglasses, large bags, you name it and they have it.

They blankly follow the latest trends with an astoundingly religious devotion. Most of them have an insatiable thirst for attention. There are never enough stares and open mouths for them-they need more, more and more! Here we are talking about them spending $500 on shoes alone and buying panties worth $750; sure it’s worth it! It’s Calvin Klein! And Oh My God I must have those matching earrings to go with my new lingerie! Changing trends means changing outfits and further spending. Although, the money makers won’t be complaining anytime soon!

They just keep raking in the green. They certainly have a way of spending more money than they have. To tell the truth on my list, any one capable of carrying that many shopping bags cannot be called as the weaker gender. Women have mastered the fine art of trickery. They have managed to become skilled at the finer points of manipulation and scheming. They can melt the hardest heart with their wide-eyed gaze and clear, innocent baby blues. Do not be deceived! They are as ruthless as they seem above suspicion; what with their ultimate weapons of mass destruction.

Razor sharp teeth and long pointy nails that will send any man running home to mommy! So much for being damsels in distress! Which, of course, does not stop them from tattling secrets to every other person they meet. Oh you know what… Not that they are all that way, there are a few exceptions who completely forgo all their feminine aspects to embrace all the tom-boyish qualities and behaviour. Nevertheless, they seemed to have a strong bond with their make-up: where lip-gloss is a necessity, short skirts are compulsory and no shoes below three inches are acceptable.

Their ‘so-called’ appealing attributes are complemented further by their highly irrational behaviour. While holding a boy’s arm is perfectly alright clinging onto him like he is life support just makes you wonder… Tucking behind imaginary strands of hair all the while looking at the person from between your eyelashes gives the distinct impression that the girl must be squinting or is falling asleep. Have you ever noticed a teenage girl who wasn’t giggling mischievously at something or the other; it’s a wonder no flies enter their wide open maws.

As for their daily routine, it consists mainly of shopping-on a week end especially. It is quite hard to imagine though why any one would want to be stick thin (almost unhealthy looking), wear skimpy, tight clothes they are constantly complaining about while balancing themselves on six inch pencil heels-those things are torture devices. One would wonder just how many things can prove to be lethal when in possession of a woman. Are they perfectionists? Or just plain fussy people who just have to have it in that certain way which appeals to them.

Women walk out the house without a single strand of hair out of place, clothes perfectly ironed and smelling of expensive Eau De Cologne. A warning before hand would be that do not under any circumstances disrupt the placement of the furniture that they have arranged and rather just compliment them if you value your hide. Especially if they are bound to attack you in their usual pack-of oestrogen loaded females. Somehow they manage to pack various emotions in such tiny bodies is a wonder, a true phenomenon of nature.

Mood fluctuations are so frequent that it is best to avoid the use of any even remotely offending statements. Vesuvius would look like a bursting balloon compared to the wrath of a woman. As the saying goes, ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. Shakespeare may have been many things but he was most certainly not a liar. Of course when they are upset they feel the need to send out the distress call, shave their head bald, get plastic surgery and cry their pretty little heads off.

Yet, it is extremely comical to observe that they are mortally afraid of tiny harmless insects and small creatures such as mice. It’s not like that tiny thing could hurt them much any way, could it? However, the bug’s last words would undoubtedly be ‘SQUEAK’! On one hand they claim to be scared of them and on the other hand they have absolutely no qualms about crushing them with those perilous heels mercilessly. The irony is that I myself being female find myself doing several of these things in real life without actually noticing it.

When I do, I go into deep thought and over think it and present an analysis which is hundred pages long. Although I am baffled as to how I could be doing the most same things that I seem to be criticizing. Asking why females behave the way they do is equivalent to asking an absurd question such as ‘why is there air? ‘ There is just no plausible answer that could satisfy the questions of all parties. It is best to just give up trying to comprehend us when we ourselves have no hope of deciphering our nature.