Let the sociologist in you shine

Marriages better today than before The article “ the all or nothing marriage” by ELI J. FINKEL tries to explain whether the marriages of today are better or worse as compared to how they used to be in the past. He goes ahead to support this using two theories , the marriage decline camp where marriage has weakened due to higher divorce rates that reflect lack of commitment and decline in morals, and the marriage resilience camp where the disruptive changes the marriage has experienced are signs of better respect individual autonomy that favors mostly women. My goal in this work is to show the connections that this article has with other articles that tries to explain the transformations that marriages have undergone. Matthew Dowd talks about the institution of marriage being stronger now than ever while Steve Connor talks about the recipe for a great marriage being a contribution of both couples coming out to help one another (Peter 45).
Eli Finkel gives the answer for the question as ” both”, giving an argument that although the average marriages of this century are much weaker than the ones of the past, in terms of satisfaction and the rate of divorce, the best marriages today are far much stronger than before, in terms of both satisfaction and personal well-being. He explains how there has been a sharp divergence in divorce rate between the poor and the rich over time. He claims that Americans nowadays have elevated their marital expectations and can be able to achieve a high level of marital quality if they are willing to invest a great deal of time and energy in their relationship. Their marriage however may fall short of the expectations if they fail to do so. He explains that his topic echoes the classic “ hierarchy of needs” theory by the psychologist Abraham Maslow who postulates that human needs are classified into a five-level hierarchy. At the lowest point is the need for physiological well-being including the need for food and drinks, then the need for security, then the need for love and affection followed by the need for self-esteem and lastly for self-actualization(Peter 55).
Steve Connor seconds what Eli postulates by arguing that divorce rates today are high and the satisfaction of marriage in those relationships that succeeds are not higher than before because most spouses are not investing well in time and energy that is needed to help one another’s love and self-expression. On the other hand Matthew Dowd looks at marriage as an issue that involves a direct connection with the issue of a trusting commitment between spouses based on the level of freedom and love. This shows that committed relationships having love as a foundation are not only healthier but stronger today than before (Stephanie 3).
In conclusion marriages are far much better in terms of both strength and health today as compared to the past. Partners of a marriage only need to invest greatly in time and energy that is dedicated towards making a satisfying relationship . It is true that with time relationships experiences a number of disruptions but spouses should have in their minds that despite the rising demand for time and energy for other activities, they should at least spare some for themselves if they have to keep staying in a working marriage.
Works Cited
Stephanie Coontz. What we really Miss about the 1950’s. New York: Diane Publishers. 2011, Print
Peter Berger. Invitation to Sociology; A Humanistic Perspective: New York: Diane Publishers, 2011. Print
http://www. nytimes. com/2014/02/15/opinion/sunday/the-all-or-nothing-marriage. html? _r= 0