There once was a little girl who never applied herself in her academics.
She always made bad decisions when choosing her peers. She never thought good things about herself. Then there was another girl, who always applied herself academically. She worked hard to accomplish her goals and helped tutor others when they struggled in class.
Which little girl are you? What do you think about yourself when you look in the mirror? How do you feel about yourself? Ahead we will discuss what makes up your self-esteem and the different things that influence and mold your self- esteem. Self-esteem is what and how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem shows how you value yourself and how important you think you are. Good self-esteem is important because it helps you hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do (Sheslow 2005). Good self-esteem gives you courage to try new things.
It also makes you believe in yourself. Positive self-esteem helps you make good choices about your mind and body. A person that has good self-esteem is less likely to follow someone doing something dumb or dangerous. If a person has good self-esteem, then they make good and sound decisions for themselves. Good self-esteem makes you value your health, safety, feelings, and your whole self (Sheslow 2005).
If the word is broken down into two words, it will help you understand self-esteem better. Look at self first, which means yourself (Sheslow, PhD). Self-worth is how much you value yourself and if you think that you are important. Self-concept is all about how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements (Sheslow, PhD).
Now let’s look at the word esteem. Esteem is a word that is fancy for thinking that someone or something is important or valuing that person or thing. For example if you admire your friend’s mom because she is a teacher, it is that you hold teachers with high value or regard. You hold a great level of esteem for teachers. Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness (Branden, PhD).
Your self-esteem is with you all of the time. Self-esteem affects everything about you. It may not be tangible; you cannot hear or touch it, but it is always there. Your self-concept and level of self esteem directly affect the way that you communicate with others. The way we communicate with others is important because that’s how we let people know who we are, what we believe in, what our values are, and how we feel. Your self-concept can be variable because you see and understand yourself differently depending upon feelings, beliefs, and attitudes.
A good self-concept coupled with high self esteem increases your confidence. With this confidence, you will respect yourself and others and learn to communicate more effectively with them to improve your relationships. As your self-esteem builds, you will contribute more and share yourself with the world and those around you. If an individual has high self esteem, they tend to think well of others and expect that others think well of them.
This makes for the likelihood of successful communication because they already expect themselves to have positive communication, which contributes to positive self-evaluations, leading to the reinforcement of self-esteem. (Adler, 43) People with higher self-esteem will speak confidently and without hesitation. They will also be more likely and willing to take the risk of admitting when they’re wrong, which can contribute to their self-expression. They will also be more apt to take the risk of self-disclosing personal information.
Low self-esteem can not only cause that person to think badly of themselves, but also cause them to suspect that others feel the same way about them. People with low self-esteem may well communicate less than those with high self-esteem. They will be unwilling to take risks in social encounters and are more likely to appear to lack confidence and persuasiveness. They may be hesitant in their speech and will often attempt to mirror the speech habits of the group from which they seek approval from, for example adding ‘ like’ or ‘ actually’ into their sentences. This, in turn, can result in depression, insecurity, and low confidence, amongst other things. A low level of self esteem, aided by your inner criticism, can cause you to stumble at every challenge and make life seem impossible.
Your self concept and level of self esteem is influenced by many different factors. The messages that we receive from very close, important people in our lives, such as our spouse, help to shape our self-concept. These messages influence our own behavior and self concept, and also the behavior and self concept of others. We as a population are still undecided on whether self-concept and self esteem produce achievement or if achievement produces self-concept and self-esteem. Our parents and siblings influence us as we grow into an adult and have a major impact on how we view ourselves and the world. These attributes could also be influenced by close friendships, whether they are ego boosters or ego busters.
Those people in your life that are ego boosters help to raise your self-esteem by acting in a way that makes you feel important, accepted, appreciated, or loved. Messages you receive from ego busters diminish your self-esteem and can make you feel worthless or insignificant. There are many other environmental influences that help to shape how we see ourselves. Our gender and culture are powerful forces in shaping self-concept and the way in which we communicate (Adler, p 55). In our society, competiveness is important more in men than women, and it may be understandable that most women’s self-worth is chained to their social relationships and family matters. Most Western cultures tend to be individualistic, while other traditional cultures are more collective.
Western cultures put great value into change, individualism, and equality, whereas other more traditional cultures value order, duty, status, and of course, tradition. These factors influence our self-concept, leading to a change in the level of our self-esteem. Your self-concept has the most important influence over your level of self-esteem. The primary way that we perceive ourselves is through our self-concept. Self-esteem is comprised of your self-concept, self-image, self-worth, and everything that the outside world tells you about yourself.
When that esteem is high, it does not mean that you are bragging on yourself or thing that you are perfect. Just know that you are worthy of being loved and accepted. Always remember that there are some things you will be unable to change about yourself. The things that you cannot change about yourself are your skin color and your shoe size, because they are a part of you. However, you can change the parts of your self-concept with which you are unsatisfied. Being honest about yourself and keeping reasonable expectations for yourself help to build confidence and increase the level of self-esteem.
Sometimes negative things are in your head, but you can choose to change your way of thinking; just tell yourself to stop. When this happens you are taking the power away from the voice inside that can discourage you. You must have the will to want to change and sometimes even the skills to change certain things. Making a list of the things that you are good at will help you boost your self-esteem.
These things can be drawing, singing, playing a sport, telling jokes, or realizing that you have a natural talent for working with children or volunteering. You can observe people who handle themselves in the ways that you are striving towards (Adler, p 63). Try to compliment yourself everyday and look for the positive in every situation. Improving your own self-esteem will help to improve your communication with others. You will have more fulfilling relationships and enjoy a more satisfying level of self-expression.
These potential changes can lead to more effective communication overall. References Adler, R. & Procter II, R. , (2006). Looking Out/Looking In (12th Ed) Boston: Wadsworth. Sheslow, D.
nd Branden (2005). The Story on Self Esteem. Retrieved October 24, 2008, from Kids Health Web site: http://kidshealth. org/kid/feeling/emotion/self_esteem. html Brescia, M.
(2008). Professional Behavior Modification. Retrieved October 24, 2008, from Think Right Now Web site: http://www. thinkrightnow.
com University of Arkansas. Men & Women Differ in how Family Communication Builds Self-esteem. The Science of Mental Health. Retrieved October 23, 2008, from About. com Web Site: http://mentalhealth.
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