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Good revision journal essay example

– Appropriate Words:
– Instead of using the word because many times, I will opt to replace it with other words such as since. To me, it is sweet sounding, more formal and can make my work be more appealing. Such terms are not appropriate in all forms of writing because they do appear quite informal.
– I will replace some statements with questions. The use of rhetorical questions will make my work be so lively and thought provoking. It will challenge the audience and make them more attentive than they could otherwise be. Besides, it will enable them to participate in the article, not just by reading, but by thinking a lot about it the main message being passed.
– Precise Words
– Instead of being too wordy, I will try to remove all the unnecessary words from my sentences. For example, I will remove therefore and replace them with more precise words such as the.
– In order to be more appealing to the audience, I will incorporate the use of figurative language in this article. This will include metaphors, similes and symbolism. Their use will be appropriate because it will enable me to engage the readers and deliver the message to them without any problem. If they are properly used, the paper will be too good to read because it will have both a superficial and figurative meanings.
– Unnecessary Words:
– I will restructure my sentences by removing the unnecessary words which have no meaning and make no significant contributions to my sentences. This will be achieved by getting rid of the extra words which have no value to add to the respective sentences in which they appear.
– I will also have to limit the use of unnecessary words used throughout the paper. Indeed, such conjunctions have no use in these sentences and should be removed.
– Paragraph Flow:
– In order to ensure that I effectively communicate to the readers, I will ensure that I develop smoothly flowing paragraphs. This will be accomplished by using appropriate conjunctions. For instance, I will use words like besides, in addition, hence, subsequently and lastly. These will help in connecting different parts of the paragraphs in the article.
– The other concept I will use is repetition. A part from helping me to emphasize my main points, the use of repetition will be useful in ensuring a steady flow of ideas throughout the article.
– I will also use cause and effect as part of my transition. If properly used, it will help in making a strong impact on the exact point I am trying to make.
– Introduction:
– The introduction will have to be adjusted. It has a lot of drawbacks which should be changed. First, I will have to introduce a question to make it captivating. If it starts with a question; it will be able to capture the attention of the readers. Thus, they will have to be coaxed to read it and get the main theme being discussed.
– I will reorganize the introduction. As it is; it provides inadequate information to the readers. I will have to restructure it and make it exhaustive. This will be done by highlighting the summary of the main points to be discussed. This is important because it will help in making it more interesting.

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