Freshman college admissions paper

This paper is for my admission essay to Illinois I have applied to ISU as I feel that it is the right place for me considering my background so far and that it would launch me into a career after my undergraduate program. Presently, I am a senior at Deerfield High School in Illinois and want to major in Business Management at ISU. I have always dreamt of a career as a corporate manager and hence my decision to opt for an undergraduate program in Business Administration.
I am an extroverted person by nature and I love the outdoors very much. I like to go trekking and exploring the parks around my district. I like to do this in groups of friends and acquaintances. I believe that this gives me a chance to indulge in team building exercises that improve co-ordination and control with others and also get to know my strengths and weaknesses. I use these expeditions as a means to get to know myself and understand what my blind spots are.
In the school, I am on the track and field team and specialize in Long jump and triple jump events that call for agility and stamina apart from endurance. My experiences in the track and field team have taught me to value the importance of training and discipline as well as concentrating on a particular task at hand. I believe that these values would hold me in good stead in my subsequent education and career.
I want to join ISU as I feel that it would be a good fit for me academically and socially. By this I mean that the program would give me enough opportunities to do well in the courses as well as give me a chance to display my athletic skills as well as my social skills. I have sought information about the intramural program at ISU and I feel that I contribute to the success of the program as well as gain friendships in the process.
As outlined above, I am relationship oriented person and this is reflected in the way I have dealt with the kids while I was a swimming instructor at Park district for the last four years. In this stint, I have learnt that a good coach is one who teaches as well as learns in the process. Further, I have come to appreciate the people side of the mentoring and coaching process that has helped me in nurturing talent as well as increasing the chances of my progress in the swimming school.
Though I cannot claim to be a brilliant student, nonetheless I am hard working and dedicated. I believe that effort and perseverance are as important as natural abilities and being endowed with the same in extra curricular arena, I know what it takes to succeed. I believe that each of us is endowed differently and one can succeed in life by being an all rounder and having a multi faceted personality that can thrive under all kinds of conditions.
In conclusion, I would request the admission board to consider my application for admission to ISU after giving due importance to all the facets of my personality and my ambition of majoring in business administration. Given a chance, I can excel in my chosen area and come out with flying colors.