Framing and feeling rules in valentine's day

Many people think they know the true definition of Valentines Day. They seem to know the feelings involved within this holiday. Everyone act like they know all the right gestures that must be done on this holiday. The question is Why do they know all of these rituals that goes along with Valentines Day? . The answer to this question relies within these terms known as framing rules, expected social exchange, feeling rules of social exchange, and rule reminders.

Framing rule are rules according to which we ascribe definitions or meanings to situations. Framing rules define the emotional meaning of the situation. For example, the framing rule behind Valentines Day is love. Love is the emotion that we tend to display on Feb. 14th. Framing rule basically is the emotion that people tend to show during a certain situation. Such as at a funeral, the framing rule for that situation is sadness. Framing rule is an agreement about the characteristics of the situation.

With the holiday known as Valentines Day they are expected to be social exchanges that will or would be made with two separate parties. By parties I mean people that are in a relationship or just being involved with each other. Social exchange generally costs consist of sacrifices of time, money, or lost opportunities. The outcome is defined to be the difference between the benefits and the costs. For example, the expected social exchange that people know about the day of Valentine is candy, flowers, and a love letter or a card. There are many other gifts that can fall under social exchange such as a car, clothes, and maybe even KY jelly to show the physical side of this holiday. The holiday is nationally known for all the social exchanges between couples.

With social exchange comes feeling rules. Feeling rules are the norms about emotions in a situation. They are a set of social guidelines that specify the kind of emotions people are expected to feel in a certain situation. The feeling rule that goes along with Valentine is to be happy, and feel loved. For example, when someone receives a one stem red rose from their partner he or she must feel appreciative of the gesture that was made, and should reward them with a smile or a kiss. Most of the time when these feeling rules are not followed someone tends to get hurt. They feel sad due to the fact the receiver did not respond the way he or she expected based on the feeling rules. The feeling rules are not just for Valentines. They also can be expected on birthdays. He or she is expected to be happy on their birthday. Feeling rules are powerful towards certain emotions. They can hurt a person or vise versa they can make someone feel the happiest they have ever felt in their life just from a simple gesture.

To know when to use the feeling rule, one must be reminded what feelings must be portrayed. The termed used for this is rule reminders which is a cue to alter to the expression of emotion or explain the emotion deviance. For example, Valentine rule reminders can be shown on TV commercials, schools, stores, and many other places. When the holiday of Valentines tends to come around people tend to see the colors red, pink, white and hearts everywhere to indicate Valentines Day is approaching. There are rule reminders for almost every holiday. For example, Christmas has TV shows such as Christmas cartoons, Christmas trees which is all part rule reminders that is telling people Christmas is approaching.

The framing rules and feeling rules discussed in the previous questions did not influence how I feel about Valentine’s Day. It just enforced my knowledge of Valentines Day. While growing up, the framing rules and feeling rules were embedded in my brain by my family, school, and of course my environment. Valentines Day is part of my culture now.