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Essay, 2 pages (300 words)

Fieldwork project

In the couple’s fifth year of marriage, gender role issues began to materialize. Bri wanted, what he considers a “ real family wife and kids;” he saw his wife as more of a workaholic colleague. In my experience, men often feel a sense of entitlement for the things they have been blessed with, because of their gender. They do not seem to recognize the fact that women are the creators of life, and they would not exist without the assistance of women. Men and women must find roles that work in their lives, not roles that they only think they should fall into. According to Nancy Jay, “[t]hat which is defined, separated out, isolated from all else is A, and pure. Not-A is necessarily impure, a random catchall, to which nothing is external except A, and the principle of order that separates it from Not-A.” Along the same lines, Judith Lorber states, “ from society’s point-of-view one gender is usually the touchstone, the normal, the dominant and the other is different, deviant, and subordinate. In Western society ‘ man’ is A, ‘ wo-man’ is Not-A” (Lorber, J. 22). Bri could not grasp the concept that his wife was independent, sharing in the same responsibilities. With that, their marriage began to crumble. My personal feeling is his wife realized men have a historical, unfair advantage over women. Men are afforded a greater number of economic resources, such as quality education, higher-paying job opportunities, as organizations tend to be “ monopolized by men” (Lorber, J. 23). Based on my experience, I completely agree with Lorber, and I feel that my perception of Bri’s wife’s reasons for leaving is accurate. Bri’s wife was a very successful doctor; she did not want to give up her career and “ do most of the domestic labor” (Lorber, J. 23). It is possible Bri and his wife could have negotiated, settling on a compromise that they would both be able to live with, but they failed to do so.

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