Example of research paper on peer reply 2

– There is no clear thesis statement – the issue is brought up, but no argument is made of it.
– The writer previews what the main supporting topics will be in the last sentence of the introduction.
– The introduction vaguely talks about the stature of homework in school, and mentions the “ homework debate,” but no real details of the nature of that debate.
– I cannot clearly tell what the writer will argue, just that they will argue about the homework debate.
– The writer attempts to connect common experiences with homework to the paper’s subject.
– The writer could do more to talk about the perils of homework and the importance of the subject rather than just say we’ve all done homework before.
– Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
– The topic does discuss the subject mentioned in the thesis statement, but possesses more argument in the topic sentence than in the thesis.
– The writer talks about many sources, recounting them like stories instead of using facts and opinions from them to support their own argument. There is a lot of redundant information in the Dr. Winch story, for example.
– There is almost an abundance of overexplanation for the sources, as the writer should keep the sources brief and use them to support their argument. Otherwise, transitions and context are appropriately done.
– In-text citations are done appropriately, and everything is found on the Works Cited page.
– Each body paragraph has a decent concluding sentence that ties up the supporting topic and brings it back to the thesis.
– The final body paragraph provides possible solutions to too much homework. However, it is not linked well to the previous arguments, and relies too much on personal opinion as to the efficacy of the solution.
– Again, the possible objections are simply addressed by the writer stating their unsupported personal opinion.
– The essay’s paragraphs are organized fairly smoothly, with refutation/proof sentences and cause/effect arguments found in the paper.
– The middle paragraph already assumes the ‘ reducing the homework load’ solution when that is not established in a topic sentence. There is not an appropriate or logical connection there.
– Transitions are effectively done, and the actual points being made flow well from one to another.
– However, the thoughts lack coherence at times, delving too often into anecdote and regaling of stories in sources used. Writing should be redirected to speak as more of an authority and researcher.
– The conclusion presumes the ‘ reducing homework’ argument, when the thesis merely says they will discuss the homework issue without arguing for a solution.
– The concluding sentences do a decent job of summing up the flow of the general argument.
– The conclusion is stated fairly matter of factly, but there is a strong idea about the problems with education that can be solved with reducing homework.
– Works Cited is misspelled (“ Sited”), Otherwise, the Works Cited page is correctly formatted.
– The essay has a very clear intent and structure.
– The essay lacks coherence and relies too much on personal opinion.
– The in-text citations are erratically formatted, with some citations being the author’s full name, or just a link.
– Each in-text citation is on the Works Cited page.
– The Works Cited page is in the correct format.