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Evaluation Essay, 3 pages (650 words)

Evaluation speech self

Speaker Henry Young Henry tries to make an opening ment which conveys an interesting topic, but his execution is not effective as he tended to speak in a monotonous tone.
2. His speech is organized much in the manner of a bibliographical sketch, with his life’s events related in chronological order. The speech appears to be organized around three main points: his ambition for himself, how he had to modify these ambitions because of the responsibilities of family life, and how he is once again trying to resume the pursuit of these aspirations.
3. Henry would have been more effective if he was not monotonous in his delivery. The speaker appeared to depend more on his note card, thereby making the speech bibliographic. Also, he does not maintain eye contact with the camera or the audience, giving one the impression that he is somewhat shy in talking about himself.
4. The speaker needs to work on adding variety his speech patterns more, placing emphasis and stress on the important points he wants to convey. He should add variations in tone and volume, and support with the appropriate gestures.
Speaker 2 – Gabrielle Bahnmuller
1. Gabrielle tries to make a strong opening also, but comes across as a bit self-conscious and shy, and this is further underscored by her gestures which are rather frequent and nervous. The beginning is not effective in capturing the audience’s attention.
2. The speech is poorly organized. Her topics are not well-structured. She tended to repeat some things, such as the fact that she wants to help people. She also tended to jump from one point to the next and back again, as in alternating between events in her life (her course, what she wants to take up) interspersed with comments about her personal inclinations, then back again. The topics are not quite ordered in a logical sequence.
There don’t appear to be three main points in her speech, but if there are three main points, they would be her aspiration about what she wants to do, her independence from her parents’ decisions, and the fact that she is aspiring to be a doctor in order to fulfil her desire to help others. The topics are not well delineated, however, as she tends to move among them alternatively.
3. The speaker is more animated in her tone, pitch, volume, and so forth, and tries to relate to her audience by maintaining eye contact with them. However, she fails to establish eye contact with the webcam as specified in the instruction. She tries to avoid note card dependence, putting it down at times and trying not to look at it, but then she picks it up again and looks again at it.
4. Gabrielle should not be too nervous, as she conveys this by her seeming desire to be conversational in her approach, and yet being lost when she tries to be extemporaneous. She should have a working outline in her mind and move logically from topic to topic. Her most important improvement would be in organizing her speech along logical and specific points.
Speaker 3 – ME
1. I felt the opening statement was interesting, but my delivery was rather low-key and lacked emphasis.
2. I also felt the speech was well-organized, revolving around my love for a martial art that has come to define my personality. The three main points are: (1) once, I lacked direction in my life; (2) I had found an interest in, and later a passion for, my martial art; and (3) this passion came to define my life’s philosophy and outlook.
3. I felt my tone and pitch would have been alright, but my volume was rather weak as seen in the video. I was highly notecard dependent, I see, and I feel that eye contact also suffered because I kept referring to my notes.
4. In the future I will try not to be dependent on my note card, maintain better eye contact, and use gestures more related to the message I am conveying.

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