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English peer review

Yet even if you merely use the form and answer the questions, you have Just as much of a chance at a score of ” 30/30″ as someone who rites an essay. Your Name_Baby Hobart Student Writer’s Name The Passions in Our 13 Lives Title of Writer’s Essay Deadline: Directions: The purpose of this assignment is to read the essay of a fellow student who also completed the cause/effect essay assignment and offer praise and suggestions for improved writing. Please read the cause/effect essay of an anonymously assigned student and then answer the following questions about the essay.

Grading: Your peer review will not be graded NEARLY as stringently as the essays. I am concerned that you take the time to offer helpful advice, ND not Just say ” Good. ” As long as your answers are thorough and well justified, you should expect a high score on this assignment. Has the writer written a thesis? Check _x yes no Does the thesis have three keywords? Check _x_yes_no Is the thesis written with parallel sentence structure? Check_x_yes_no If you checked ” yes,” please write the thesis below. For this peer review, you are not required to rewrite the thesis.

All you are required to do is write the thesis word for word as the writer has written it. If you are completing the peer review online, you may cut and paste. A penalty will be applied if I locate a thesis and you have failed to write it down. As for me, I am passionate about food, my future career, and the military. Do you agree with the writer’s ordering of the three keywords? If not, how would you rearrange the keywords for better effect? For this response, you do not need to write a complete sentence? Just place the keywords in a different order.

My future career, military, food What is the first keyword? Check if the word is food Abstract X Concrete Is the abstract word further defined or explained_yes What is the second keyword? X my future career o What is the third keyword? Abstract word further defined or explained_X_yes military Concrete Is the N/A Having read this essay, what questions do you feel this writer should address in further detail? -l feel that it should have went in further in detail because it would give the read more insight on these passions.

Of course they are his passions but explain more detail about each three would have made it a whole lot better. How effectively do you feel the writer’s concluding paragraph assesses the importance of examining the definition under consideration? -These passions should eave been more explained thoroughly. (egg. Food is one of my passions. Define food) it gives what food does but need more define term of it. Of the five paragraphs, which do you enjoy reading the most, and why? Give an example of how the paragraph or a portion of the paragraph succeeds.

Please respond in anywhere from two to five sentences. Starting from sentence (21) all the way to (28) is very well written. It gives a firm understanding on what the military does. How is applies to it being a strong passion of theirs. Of the five paragraphs, which do you feel needs the most improvement? Give an example of how the paragraph or a portion of the paragraph could have been improved. Please respond in anywhere from two to five sentences. The conclusion paragraph needs another sentence to help the reader grasp the essay . It gives the thesis statement again but that’s about it.

Really needs a meaningful closing to pull the whole thing together. (egg. My passions about my future career, military, and food make me stay humble and gives me satisfaction for my overall life. I will continue to love these passions of mine to guide me through my journey of life. Points Earned DRP. S. E. Phillips English 1302. 123 8 September 2013 20 Maximum Points Possible: 30 Reader 010 Peer Review on Writer 004 From Reader 010 1 . ) The beginning paragraph makes me feel curious about the writer of the essay about Shenanigan’s ” Our Side of the Fence and Theirs”.

It was satisfactory and pulled me in from the first sentence, which says, ” A rather intriguing story ” Our Side of the Fence” is, it follows the narrators thoughts concerning his new neighbors that have Just moved into his family next door”. 2. ) Thesis: ” Three things I liked about this wondrous short story, was the friendliness and honor the narrators family appears to assess, the concise thought process behind the narrator, and the simplicity yet effectiveness bond the narrator’s family embodies” 3. The concluding paragraph was awful it may have had a thesis statement but the ending could have been better. This writer fell short with the last sentence ” l hope to be able to read more short stories similar to this, ones that I can really get into and feel as though I am the narrator himself in the story’. That Just didn’t appeal to me at all. 4. ) The first paragraph I enjoyed the most it gave me a feel for how the writer felt about the story ” Our Side of the Fence”.

The part where the writer had written ” comparing and contrasting, the narrator proceeds to grow distaste for the new family, mainly because they do not wish to introduce themselves nor do they care to create a neighborly bond” really shows that this writer has a way with words that are incredible. This writer’s way with words was what drew me in the most. 5. ) The concluding paragraph most definitely needs improvement it states the writers opinion twice about the story. The writer should have restated the other paragraphs in the beginning sentence instead of ” l am very pleased to have been given the opportunity to read this story in class”.

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