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Case Study, 4 pages (850 words)

Case study

Jan and Ken Case Study 1. Using the chapters on language and emotions to help frame your answer, suggest two ways that Ken could open this conversation more productively. For instance, clearly expressing his emotions and using “ I” language. Ken could have approached Jen in a different, less confrontational tone. Perhaps if he had asked her do you have a minute? Jan would have felt as though her time was valuable. The biggest issue that Ken had is that he opened using “ you” language. You language assigns blame and seem judgmental.

Rather than expressing his feelings clearly, Ken accused Jan without giving her an opportunity to explain her side of the story. A better approach would have been the use of “ I” language, for example: “ I would like to talk to you about an issue I am having with Shannon. She is upset with me and I was wondering if you told Shannon about Katie and me? ” This would be less accusative and gives Jan the opportunity to express herself without feeling that she needs to be defensive. 2. How do you perceive Jan’s effort to convince Ken to forgive her?

Based on what you have learned in this chapter, suggest two ways she might more effectively seek Ken’s forgiveness. Jan was very defensive in her response and the focus was on saving face rather than rectifying the issue at hand. Jan would have been more successful if she had acknowledged Ken’s viewpoint. Jan would have been more effective in seeking Ken’s forgiveness if she had made some loyalty responses. In this sense she would have assured Ken her desire to maintain the well-being of the friendship. Another issue with Jan’s responses is that she did not seem sincere in her apology.

Jan’s response was “ I am sorry, okay? ” This response did not acknowledge how her slip up made Ken feel and or expressed true remorse. 3. The conversation so far seems to be framed in a win-lose orientation to conflict. Each person wants to be right, to win at the expense of the other. How can Jan and Ken move their conflict discussion into a win-win orientation? Ken and Jan could have been more successful in having a win-win orientation to their conflict if they would clearly express their expectation from this situation.

Clearly identifying their emotions and moving to look for a resolution to the conflict. Using the voice response approach would address the issue directly. It does not focus on anger and pointing fingers but rather looks to resolve the issue because it gives each party the opportunity to express their viewpoint. This approach like the loyalty response ensures the other person that you care about the relationship and are seeking to preserve it. 4. Review the eight conflict-management skills discussed in the text. Identify three examples of these skills in the dialogue between Jan and Ken.

Finding three conflict-management skills in this scenario was somewhat difficult simply because their discussion was not successful. However, there were attempts to use the check perception skills, relationship meaning and looking for points of agreement. The conversation between Jan and Ken was clear they were speaking to each other as friend and their messages were in tune to that perspective. Ken made an attempt to check perception when he asked Jan, if she was trying to get payback for his decision to inform her dad about her wanting to leave school. Checking perceptions is important to try and grasp the other person’s point of view.

Also, Jan made an attempt to find a point of agreement when she brought the example of Ken sharing a private conversation with her dad. Her emotions were the same as his, she felt betrayed. Trying to find a common ground is usually successful because it sets the groundwork for understanding and finding a resolution. In this case it did not work because they were both so defensive. 5. Identify three places in the dialogue where Jan and Ken missed opportunities to manage conflict successfully. Ken and Jan missed several opportunities to solve the conflict. First of ff, when Jan apologized and expressed that the information shared was a mistake and it took place before Ken started dating Shannon. Ken should have listened more carefully and began a dialogue then, perhaps less aggressive and more definitive about his emotions. Another instance was when Jan tried to find common ground by expressing he had done the same; Ken was dismissive about her viewpoint. Lastly, when Ken expressed that he would not want to share intimate information in the future, Jan could have taken the opportunity to reaffirm Ken of the value of the relationship.

In doing so the conversation could have turn to conflict resolution rather than name calling. 6. What did you learn from this project? This case it made it very clear to me how important it is to communicate supportively. Creating an environment where there is environment is supportive and comfortable makes all of the difference, it opens the door for a win-win orientation to the conflict. Not being clear in expressing emotions or focusing on “ you” language fosters defensive attitudes. This sort of environment is not conductive to resolution or preservation of the relationship.

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