Body language

Peter F. Drucker said “ the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said” (Sarkis). What does this mean? First we have to understand the meaning of body language. Body language is a form of non verbal communication that supports verbal communication (Kasikci, 2003, p. 26). Non-verbal cues are as important as the verbal messages we communicate. Verbal messages reflect our thoughts, but non-verbal messages reflect more realistically the inner world of thoughts and feelings (Benzer). I believe it is important for one to have the correct body language when having a conversation with another individual.

I also believe that in most cases a person’s body language towards others provides an accurate assessment of their personality. In this essay, I will explore the importance of certain gestures as well as the meaning behind the gestures, including those of different cultures. I will also research other exceptions to accurate assessments of people based on body language, like medical reasons. Showing the right signs of body language will set a first impression with the person one is speaking with. The first impressions and bad views about a person created from non verbal cues are hard to change (Benzer).

Cuceloglu believes that people, who have previously never seen each other, immediately gain an impression of each other when they meet for the first time. Impressions about whether a person is reliable, pleasant, ignorable, or compatible form in thirty to thirty five seconds, and these impressions rely on non-verbal cues versus the verbal cues(2002, p. 64). In verbal communication, speech has 7 %, tone and quality have 38 %, and body language has 55 % effect, meaning that body language is actually more important (Pease, 1988, p. 9-13; Bailey, 2001, p. 44; Kasikci, 2003, p. 19-20; Kuhnke, 2007, p. 12; Feng, 2009).

Exhibiting appropriate signals will also allow someone to develop a certain respect for you. The key gestures of respect that I am going to discuss are eye contact and a handshake. The eyes are an incredible part of the body and also extremely important to communication. Being able to read what someone is saying with their eyes is built into people. In the United States and Canada, recurrent eye contact is important in conveying interest and attention. However, in Middle Eastern cultures, deep eye contact between same genders is often a symbol of trust and sincerity but between opposite genders it is considered inappropriate.

In Asian, African, and Latin American cultures, eye contact is considered a challenge. Some cultures consider it to be uncomfortable or a sign of disrespect (Diener). The handshake evolved from ancient times as a gesture of trust. It was to show the other person that there was no possession of weapons (“ Related Material”). In Western cultures, a firm single handed handshake is compelling. According to Wood, it takes an average of three hours of continuous face-to-face interaction to develop the same level of rapport you get instantly with a handshake (McKinnell).

This may or may not be the case in other cultures. In parts of Southern Europe, Central and South America the handshake is warmer meaning that the left hand will also assist in the gesture. In Turkey, a firm handshake is considered rude or aggressive. What I have found interesting is that men in Islamic countries never shake hands with women outside of the family (Diener). Many people in our society are unaware of these discrepancies. It can be so easy to offend someone without even having that intention. Besides culture, what other things should people consider before making judgments about another individual?

Asperger’s is a type of pervasive developmental disorder. It is similar to autism and delays development in basic skills like socializing with others, communicating, and using their imagination. People with Asperger’s, or Aspie’s, tend to be awkward in social situations and have a hard time initiating and maintaining conversations. They may not make eye contact and might have trouble using facial expressions and body language as well as reading it (” What Is Asperger’s Syndrome? Symptoms, Tests, Causes, Treatments”).

In my research, I have learned that just because someone does not greet people in the same way that others may think is the “ correct way”, does not mean that they are being disrespectful or inattentive. It is important to always consider someone’s culture or the fact that they may even have a medical condition that does not allow them to show the proper “ American” signs of respect. What we consider respect in America could be a complete insult from someone of a different Nationality or culture. On the other hand, I believe that people need to be more aware of the signs that they are being giving or even portraying towards others.

Body language gives very important clues about people’s feelings, attitudes and thoughts, and it helps us to understand their behavior according to their appearance at the point of decision. These clues are important in understanding and assessing both ourselves and other people (Benzer). It is important for one to pay attention to their own body language and assess how they might be coming off to the person that they are communicating with. Keep in mind that each person has their own unique body language called baseline behaviors (Goman). Pay special attention to changes in body language rather than the body language itself.