Being mindful when someone is speaking to you is extremely important. Being mindful means that you aren’t focused on anything except what is happening right that moment. While people are speaking to you there aretwo main types of obstacles that can get in the way of being mindful. Those are internal and external obstacles, but fortunately for us there are ways we can help eliminate or reduce them. Like most people, I have let internal obstacles get in my way of being a mindful listener. I am the type of person that has a million thoughts at one time.
Was I supposed to pick that up? What should I make for dinner? This is called preoccupation. Preoccupation happens when you let your own thoughts take over. You stop listening to what the other person is saying to you. Prejudgement is another internal obstacle that makes it hard to be mindful. Prejudgement happens when you think you know what the other person is going to say. Most people tune the other out, which makes it easy for misunderstandings. Yet another internal obstacle that makes it difficult to be mindful is when we react to things that are said emotionally.
Certain phrases or words can make us upset, sad, or angry, this is called reacting to emotionally loaded language. When this happens we are more likely to miss the other persons meaning. Just like internal obstacles external obstacles can make it difficult to be a mindful listener. Many people tune others out when messages are too detailed which is called message complexity. Others like me find it hard to be mindful after a long day of communication, message overload. I tend to only half listen on phone calls from friends on the days that I’ve been with my children all day.
My children can be catter boxes. My children also make a lot of noise which also makes it difficult to be mindful. Noise comes from many different sources like: television, radio, cellphones, and music. People get easily distracted by the noise around them. Although these obstacles can make it difficult to be mindful, there are ways in which we can eliminate or reduce them. We can turn media off, as well as go in a quiet room with limited distractions. We also can train ourselves to notice when we our thoughts are straying from the conversation and get ourselves back on track.
Many people ind it helpful to ask questions and take notes when the messages are too detailed. I find it helpful myself to ask the other person to call back or wait to talk to me on a different day when I haven’t had such a big day full of communications. “ Research suggest that we remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear,” ( Mindtools Ltd. , 2013). This fact alone makes it more important to be mindful when someone is speaking to us. There are many obstacles that can affect us being mindful. They include internal and external obstacles, fortunately for us we can do certain things to reduce or eliminate them.