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Personal Essay, 2 pages (450 words)

A moment of self awareness

A Moment of Self Awareness This assignment asked me to ” introduce myself”. At first, it would seem to be a rather easy task. After all, without even realizing it, I introduce myself on a daily basis. In some instances it is a direct introduction in others not so much. I went to some common places, such as a gas station. This was not so terribly difficult. I purchased some gas and ran into the quick mart for a water bottle. I felt that because I was in the gas station for a specific purpose, I would be more comfortable and I was correct. I usually feel self conscious in an environment that is unfamiliar to me. Because I consider myself to be goal driven and an industrious person, it is difficult to communicate with others without a defined goal. I found that going to the grocery store was equally easy. It is simple, I just go and purchase my groceries, check out what is on sale and go about my business. It is easy for me to ask someone where an aisle is because there is a goal to be met at the end and honestly, the conversation is innocuous and quick. I don’t feel as if I am being put on the spot. Likewise for the library and at a house I visited that was for sale.
” While you are not born with a self-concept, you certainly do play a key role in building one. Even though you are constantly undergoing change, once built, the theory or picture you have of yourself is fairly stable and difficult to alter”. Most people would describe me as an outgoing individual, easy to talk to and on the whole, easy to get along with. What most do not know, is that I am absolutely at a loss when placed in an environment that I am unfamiliar with. I therefore attempt to control the conversation or topic of conversation. I suppose that this would be my hidden quadrant according to the Jahari Window. I am not so sure that this is something that is built deliberately.
I think that because I am outgoing, I would like to be able to initiate conversations in any area and with ease. Accordingly, I learned that while I am always interested in changing myself for the better, I would like to do so in a way that is not perception based but in fact and actual. I think that the change could be effectuated if were to participate in a discussion that perhaps I am not qualified to speak on, but felt comfortable enough with the other participants to ask them pointed questions. This would allow me to retain the confidence in my intelligence which I think may be the backbone of all of my insecurities.

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