The effects of divorce on children

The Effects of Divorce on Children One of many people’s main goal in life is to find someone that they feel they are compatible with. Someone who they want to spend the rest of their life with, share memories, and build new dreams together. Unfortunately, divorce statistics show that true love isn’t the easiest thing to find. Each year millions of American children suffer from divorce in their family that can cause problems for children and teenagers throw them off track. This happens in America because fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. There are so many things that can go wrong with a couple over a long period of time that can cause issues in both the macrolevel and microlevel of marriage which eventually lead to divorce. Although statistics show that couples with children divorce less than couples without children, it’s still close to even at forty percent. Divorces cause major issues with children when it comes to performing in reading, spelling, and math. It increases the likelihood of them repeating a grade and also dropping out. If children miss out on receiving valuable time living in two parent household, they can miss out on many important opportunities that are key for their structure. The effects of divorce impact the ex couple, but the children also are tremendously effected. The child not being able to see one parent as much, in most cases the father which is extremely unfair to the child. In most cases, the child will also have to move away from one parent and experience what their new life is like and that can be a lot for a young boy or girl to take in. It can take time for a child to process a reaction, “ adjustment to divorce can take up to two years or even longer and that children also exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems who experience divorce”. This is truly a tragedy because no child deserves to experience divorce, and nor do they deserve to have only one parent or spilt christmas’. A lot of the ramifications point to the children when it comes to divorce, they could be the most impacted out of anyone according to William Galston, author of “ Parents who are going through divorce often believe that shielding children from the stress of the situation is in the children’s best interest. But regardless of their parents’ good intentions, children often find themselves caught in an emotional whirlpool during these times. Instead of protection, they need support and reassurance during this temporarily stressful time”. Depending on how good the relationship is between the parent and the child will affect the way the child handles the divorce. It is critical for a parent to be there for their child at this time and to comfort the child as they can be going through the same things and can even help the two bond. A number of married couples who are not happy wait until their children are teens for the divorce process, hoping that their kids are old enough to understand that sometimes divorce is the only answer. If the teen is not adjusting well, a lot of the time the teen feels guilty from not uplifting the moods of their parent to build a new bond for them. They feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together and fantasize about someday being together again. Some other teens experience things such as difficulty with dating and sexuality, loneliness, depression, academic and behavioral difficulties, low self-esteem, substance abuse problems, etc. The list goes on but the seriousness of the subject is the scary part about it. “ Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation” (Fagan) The teens who have experienced divorce are already set up to have a more stressful life than a kid who lives with both of their parents. So not only are the divorce children and teenagers having psychological problems, they are also suffering in school as well. The unfortunate thing about splitting up with is deciding who gets what. When couples first move in together they aren’t planning on splitting up any time soon so this is hardly something that is thought about. Along with all things that must be distributed to one of the couples, custody will be the biggest fight of them all. Where in most cases one of the two will be seeing the child more than the other. “ In the large majority of post divorce families, however, mothers assume de jure or de facto primary physical custody of offspring, and fathers usually become increasingly distant figures in their children’s lives. ” (Clarke) This is usually where the standard of living declines because the mother is independent now having to support a child. In most cases the mother of the child lacks the income, making it difficult to maintain the child’s way of life which leads to child support. “ Although most children of legally divorced parents receive child support from their nonresidential parents in the United States, the awards have historically covered less than half of the actual costs of raising children, and only half of the nonresidential parents pay the full amount awarded”(Clarke) Which means the child isn’t living the life that he or she was before the divorce. The fact that the child support has covered less than half of the children’s expenses can affect a low income parent majorly, sometimes playing a role in determining who gets custody of the child. The official decision to get divorced is a long and complicated road, but there is life after it. Children can still be great people and do great things. The biggest thing is that the parents must work with their child to realize that life isn’ the same way and that they must adjust to how things are. They are going to be forced to cope with it for the rest of their life and eventually they should be able to get over it psychologically. And for the future experiences, they can be more cautious on who they decide to marry knowing how divorce can affect a child. Every human in the world will face adversity, the difference is how they respond to it. Every human in the world will face adversity, the difference is how they respond to it. That is what will change the world.