The difficulties of a teenage life

so i have been thinking of how people view me. i know you may not see me in this way but I’m not all i live up to be. i have been teased, lied to, cheated on beaten on, replaced misused tormented abused and treated like dirt under a shoe, people think it doesn’t hurt, but believe me it really does its like trifle it doesn’t look like much but when its put together it just builds to something quite extraordinary. what they say kills me, your words are like knifes, taking pointless stabs each creating their own memory, scarring me forever. everyday i go through the days events reliving the events, remembering everyone and everything that hurt me, and i think of everything i give to the world, and i question, do i deserve it? you have no idea how i feel, just think your best, and won’t even listen to my opinion. my life is tough enough in its self, I’m sick of worrying about everyones emotions, but who is there to worry about mine? every day is a living and breathing nightmare that i can’t wake up from, the fake smile you se is not the real me i want to go away to a place, were i can’t be replaced, i want to feel loved, welcome, everything i don’t feel in this shithole. i don’t want to sit there, the guy nobody cares about no more, the guy who doesn’t belong, fit in, have friends? i don’t have no friends, i hate school, hat my family and hate those guys who once my friends. i no longer want to be the guy everyone talks about, i want to be free to live my life, nobody else’s… I’m sick of all this peer pressure people forcing others to act the same, look the same and dress the same. i don’t want to be that, i want to be me, act differently, i want to be part of diversity. people don’t act their age, look like they should be in a cage when they get down to drinking they are not really thinking, you think your cool having a smoke ITS A JOKE act your age and stop bing pathetic stick together cmon be kinetic, i remember when i was twelve the girls read book from a shelf and not getting crayons and rubbing all over themselves brace your inner beauty stop being dirty, your still young just go have some fun who are you to judge someone what you say doesn’t define then it defines YOU positive messages can really help someone no matter how big or small as long as it don’t appal. they make you believe and achieve stuff you never though you could do. why can’t we be happy being ourselves? everyday is a day you remember, its time to stand out and fight for something, and have a big smile on your face coz you never know whats going to be your last. so I’m going to stand up and I’m going to make a difference , I’m gonna stand up to bullying , I’m gonna stand up to that little poofter who nobody really likes, I’m gonna stand up to that little kid in the corner getting picked on everyday andim going to become his friend, I’m gonna stand up to peer pressure, I’m gonna be that for that girl who has nobody, be there for people who have fake smile who need help, I’m gonna stand up for myself because I can, I’m gonna help anyone in need, and be that shoulder to cry on, and be a friend to everyone and not judge them on how they look but the content of character, I’m going to individual and I’m gonna stand up for those who have taken their lives because they have not had that support, and could not handle living in todays society, its harder than you think. if everyone thinks in this way our judgemental society will become a better place for people being born now.