Reading response essay on divorce

Reading Response Essay Divorce is a common situation in most families today. Almost half of marriages end in divorce by the time a child turns 18. This is a huge change compared to just 20 years ago when couples made a marriage work regardless of what the situation was. In “ Did I Miss Something? ” author Lowell Putnam explains his view of being “ treated as a victim of some social disease. ” He tells of living part time with one parent and part time with the other. I am also a child of divorced parents; however I only lived with my mother. I can agree with some points the author made, and some I feel differently. I agree that parents can’t make a marriage work based on a child. That will only result in everyone living miserably, especially the child. The author says that “ with love as the driving force in a parent’s mind, he or she will almost invariably make the correct decision. ” This is very true. In my case however, I didn’t have that from both parents. I lived with my mother and two older brothers. My parents had separated before I was a year old. My father then moved to Chicago and pretty much lived his own life. He didn’t pay my mom child support and we saw him maybe twice a year. I think that when a child has both parents in their life and the parent makes the conscious choice to be a part of their child’s life, it will only benefit the child. If they don’t, it can lead to issues of abandonment. When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I remember crying to my mom and asking her why her and my father were not together. She would only answer that their marriage did not work and that they would never be together again. This always left me feeling sad and lonely. I often put blame on my mother for them not being together. Of course not understanding at that age why they had divorced and why my father was not around. My father seemed to be only concerned with his life and not of my brothers and me. This never really changed. He would make promises that were never fulfilled. It wasn’t until my late teens, after my father had passed away; that I realized my mother was never to blame. My father had basically abandoned my brothers and me, and that was entirely his own choice. I’m not sure if my father knew of the pain he had caused us, and even if he did, he never did much to fix it. Divorce is very common today and was when I was growing up as well. I had quite a few friends who came from “ broken homes. ” I can say that more than half of them did not have both parents. A few of them did get to see both their parents regularly. The ones that didn’t seemed to have more issues with self-worth, anger, and depression. I too had these issues. I felt sorry for myself and was angry because I was deprived of a father. I acted out and was very rude to my mother. She seemed to endure the brunt of my anger which was not fair to her. I know now that these were all issues of feeling abandoned. The author says “ my life is enriched by the division of my time with my father and my time with my mother. ” He is one of the lucky ones in my book. My life has never been easy, as well as many others dealing with life of divorced parents. How people choose to deal with life’s challenges are completely up to them. Now in my adulthood, I don’t completely blame my father for his actions. He too had divorced parents and had a lack of love from both. Maybe he was just doing only what he knew. That’s not to say I excuse his behavior. He could have chosen differently and not been like his parents. I am divorce myself and have custody of my children. I made the choice to not be like my father and show my children love every day and make sure they know I will be there for them always. I haven’t let my parents’ divorce “ shape” my life. I don’t feel sorry for myself because I had at least one parent show me the unconditional love that every child needs. I’m hoping that my own children will feel the same about me.