Men are always told, but are seldom supported

We are diving headfirst into a social catastrophe and we don’t even realize it. The current upcoming generation of boys is experiencing an identity crisis that no one is acknowledging. Most of them, including me, are told to grow up to be a family man who respects women, to be a man who possesses an objective and a purpose in life, to be an honest, inspiring man who is looked upon by all alike. We are told to become the next Nelson Mandela, the next Michael Jordan, the next Muhammad Ali, the next Dale Carnegie, or even the next Bob Ross. We are told to man up, to own our shit, to persevere through pain. If we ever complain, we’re told to “ man the fuck up or shut the fuck up”, we’re told that we’re never going to make it in life, we’re told that we’re pussies. We’re always told, but are seldom supported.

Masculinity is a weird topic to discuss in 2018. Nowadays, “ being manly” is very hard to define because the traits and concepts that form masculine norms are always changing. In fact, depending on the situation, two completely opposing statements can be associated with manliness: “ I want you to open up, you never share your feelings / man up, you’re being a pussy”, “ don’t be so confrontational, it comes off as creepy / of course you’re still a virgin, you aren’t being direct”, “ girls love it when men stand up and defend them / stop being such a white knight”, etc. Thus, the conflicting and elastic nature of masculinity in today’s society is what causes confusion among us male teens. To us, adhering to these gender norms is as practical as trying to thread a needle during an earthquake.

And this fine-tuned push-pull balance bullshit is what gets to me. When we suffer through silence and keep our emotions to ourselves, we’re labeled as heartless, insensitive animals, but at the same time, if I tear up at my friend’s funeral, apparently I’m a weak, pathetic soy boy. I can’t workout and achieve my ideal body because if I do, I’ll obviously be a misogynistic meathead who intimidates everybody within a 5 mile radius. “ Oh, you want to progress and excel in your career? Well, what the fuck are you thinking you sexist pig! It’s because you don’t want your female coworker to do as well as you, isn’t it?” While I realize that some of these examples are extreme, most of them are very true. I just don’t find it very fair that we get different treatment than women on the same topics, whether it be the loss of somebody, working out, or career progression.

When are we going to be treated equally? I just want that depressed college guy who works three jobs that pay minimum wage, who stays up all night thinking about his existence, who is now sitting on the edge of a bridge thinking about ending it all to be treated like his female counterpart. It shouldn’t be the case that the male suicide rate is 3. 5 times more than that of the female. If a man and a woman were both diagnosed with cancer, the man will never be told to “ stop being a pussy and knock it off,” so why is that the case with mental health issues? We need to stop treating males and females differently based on their gender, and instead, we need to treat them equally based on a shared factor – being human.