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Marriage, divorce and remarriage

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage The Present, Past, and Future Tenses of Our Lives Marriage is possibly one of the hardest tasks that a man and a woman can try to accomplish in their life (Curran 2011). They have to bring their conflicts, needs, desires, and challenges into a melodious whole. God designed marriage to be permanent. “ I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, (Mal. 2: 16 NIV). Tennessee Code – Volume 6A, Title 36, Sections 36-4-101 and 36-4-103 states there are fourteen reasons a man and woman can divorce.

A week after a marriage begins, there will always be grounds for divorce; but finding grounds for marriage is the key to keeping everything alive. Wardle (2010) states, “ Religious communities conflict with the state over marriage…between duties to God and to the powers that God has allowed to control the state. Thus marriage is one powerfully important relationship that is of profound regulatory interest to, and remains subject to, both legal and religious jurisdiction and regulation. Since marriage and divorce are governed by both of these principles, married couples find themselves stuck in the middle between religion and the state laws. The Bible’s teachings on marriage and divorce have led to much controversy between Christians and the World’s viewpoints on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Marriage can be defined as finding that one exclusive person you want to exasperate for the rest of your life. The Bible says in Genesis 2: 24, “ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Gen. : 24 NIV). Jesus emphasized this in Matt. 19: 4-6 NIV, “ Haven’t you read,” he replied, “ that at the beginning the Creator ‘ made them male and female,’ and said, ‘ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. ” Nevertheless, many people do not accept the Bible as an authority for their own lives. An example of how the Bible plays a role in marriage from a socio-culture perspective is provided.

When one man and one woman decide to marry, the preacher, or person who is leading the ceremony, usually says a brief opening prayer and speaks of how wonderful it is to be in love and be getting married. The couple will say their vows and exchange rings. The preacher will give another spiel about Jesus, and the couple will be pronounced man and wife and sign the paperwork. The whole process of an average wedding takes about 30 minutes total. However, even during the average marriage ceremony the preacher speaks of Jesus!!

It does not matter if the couple is Christian’s or not, something will be said about Jesus. In Malachi 2: 14 NIV, the Bible says, “ It is because the Lord is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth. ” The Lord is the witness to the union that a man and a wife create when they get married. Even non Christians are under an oath to stay with their spouse until death do them part. In 2009, the National Center for Health Statistics stated that 2, 155, 000 Americans were married. Out of every 1000 people married, 3. 4 percent divorced the same year.

Is this acceptable according to the Bible and the World? Matt. 19: 6 NIV states, “ Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. ” God hates divorce because it violates his design. In 1st Corinthians 7: 10-11 the Bible says, “ To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband… and a husband must not divorce his wife. ” On the contrary, Tennessee Code states that a couple can divorce for irreconcilable differences, living separate for two years with no children, impotence, adultery, imprisonment, alcoholism and drugs.

If the wife is pregnant by another man without husband knowing at time of marriage, willful desertion for one year, bigamy, endangering the life of the spouse, or conviction of an infamous crime is also allowable. Abandonment for two years, and cruel and inhuman treatment or indignities that make the spouse’s life intolerable are also grounds for divorce. It is apparent in 1st Corinthians that Paul is addressing married couples and that these couples must be developing problems or he would not have had to say this.

Paul is clear that couples should not leave the marriage when problems arise. So why does the World allow for divorce? Divorce is becoming more and more popular, affordable, and easy. NCHS (2010) stated that fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. Barnett Brickner once said, “ Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ” This means that a couple in danger of divorce should not seek the easy way out and get a divorce; they should stay and work on their marriage.

Building a successful marriage takes commitment and hard work (Divorce and The Christian). Some may say, “ I married the wrong person, we are incompatible. By getting a divorce, I am simply correcting an earlier problem instead of prolonging it. ” However, people are not incompatible by nature. They choose to be incompatible because of selfishness and hard-heartedness against God’s conviction. This is why those who divorce with this mentality and remarry usually get divorced again. Instead, we should focus on becoming the right person (McCallum, Dennis).

Sixty percent of second marriages ended in 2009 according to the NCHS (2010). According to the Bible, the only way out of a marriage is if the husband or wife dies; only then the man or woman is free to remarry. “ A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7: 39). Yet, if a man or woman divorces his or her husband or wife than gets remarried, the Bible clearly states, “ It has been said, ‘ Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5: 31-32) and “ Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery” (Mark 10: 11-12). Except the Tennessee Code – Volume 6A, Title 36, Sections 36-4-101 and 36-4-103 lists fourteen reasons for divorce!

In today’s society, how does a married Christian couple not getting along decide what to do? In conclusion, a marriage is the jamboree of love, reliance, partnership, and mercy. It is also a decision that carries so much devotion and accountability. A man and a woman must remember that they were once in love with the person he or she is now unsuited with. If a couple can find grounds for marriage, and set aside grounds for divorce, they can change who they are and therefore become the perfect person for his or her perfect partner.

The Bible’s teachings on marriage and divorce are very strict and much different then the World’s viewpoints. Anne Taylor Fleming said, “ A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ” There is no right or wrong answer to the questions proposed in this paper, there are only people, and the decisions they make in their day-to-day lives, that affect their outcomes in whatever they chose to do. References Curran, M. , Ogolsky, B. , Hazen, N. , & Bosch, L. (2011).

Understanding Marital Conflict 7 Years Later From Prenatal Representations of Marriage. Family Process, 50(2), 221-234. doi: 10. 1111/j. 1545-5300. 2011. 01356. x Divorce and The Christian. (2004). Retrieved from http://christiandivorce. 1hwy. com/ Grounds for Divorce in Tennessee. (1996-2011). Retrieved from http://www. divorcesource. com/info/divorcelawsgr/tennessee. shtml MacArthur, J. (1984). The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: I Corinthians. Chicago, Illinois: Moody Press. McCallum, D. (1985).

The Ethics of Divorce and Remarriage. Nashville, Tennessee: Abingdon Press. National Center for Health Statistics. (2010). National Vital Statistics Reports. Retrieved from http://www. cdc. gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr58/nvsr58_12. pdf Sember McWhorter, B. (2004). The Divorce Organizer and Planner. New York, New York: McGraw Hill. Wardle, L. D. (2010). MARRIAGE AND RELIGIOUS LIBERTY: COMPARATIVE LAW PROBLEMS AND CONFLICT OF LAWS SOLUTIONS. Journal of Law & Family Studies, 12(2), 315-364. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.

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