Lady macbeth perspective of macbeth

I, much like my husband, am deeply driven by ambition and can admit that I lust for reign. Power is in fact a guilty pleasure but I for one will never cease to strive for it. After receiving the letter Macbeth sent to me about all that has happened, I realized this is a perfect opportunity to take charge in what needs to be done. Even though Macbeth desires power equally as much as I do, I feel that I am the more ruthless and conniving one. Macbeth seems to be too kind-hearted in nature and has a bit more of a solid conscience. I made sure however, that Macbeth understood that power is a difficult thing to achieve and everything must be done in order to obtain it, even murder. The moment I discovered the King was coming to visit Macbeth’s castle was when I knew it was a moment to seize, so I developed a plan. I ignored all Macbeth’s objections and disagreements to the plan and finally persuaded him to murder Duncan. We got the guards highly intoxicated before we killed him, and then once the guards awoke; we blamed the murder on them. The blame worked out perfectly because they had no recollection of what had happened that night and couldn’t deny the matters or hold an alibi. When Duncan’s death was discovered, Macbeth went after the guards and killed them for “ murdering Duncan”. These murders went very successfully and Macbeth was then pronounced king, but still had worries concerning Banquo, who was his next competition. Banquo had many advantages because nobility ran throughout his family and according to the witches’ prophecy, his children were supposed to inherit the throne. My next plot was to hire two murderers to go after Banquo and his son Fleance, but Fleance escapes. Not only did my husband become furious, but he also became anxious that this would jeopardize his power and again felt that insecurity about his reign. When he had his outbursts of rage at dinner after seeing Banquo’s ghost, I had no choice but to try to settle the chaos. This upset me because we had greater things to deal with at hand, and Macbeth caused a setback to our goals because he lost control. This one fallback was actually the start to many things that I did not see coming. My feelings for Macbeth had once been very strong, but I now feel our emotions have gradually become numbed for each other. I feel as if we have been spending so much time concentrating on power and status and authority, that we have forgotten what it is like to love each other. Instead of accompanying each other in this violent journey to fortune bringing us closer together, I feel it brought us apart. On addition to all this, Macbeth’s insecurity over his power grew increasingly, especially once we discovered Macduff would become a threat as well. Everything seemed to be falling out of hand and was beginning to be too much to have control over. Macduff and his family were successfully killed; however this only brought more guilt and grief not only to Macbeth, but to myself surprisingly. I too am now caving in to the shame and madness of all this disorder to the point I never would have thought I would reached, to a point even greater than that felt by my husband. I thought I was the strong one, but after trying to be strong for Macbeth, I suppose I ran out of strength to keep for myself and have finally become overwhelmed by all this madness. Maybe the thrill of power is not greater than life, and the better choice I am left to make is to simply end mine; to put an end to this chaos and an end to this immoral life of mine.