Jealousy and swinging couples: an overview of the scientific article

The study, Swings and Roundabouts: Management of Jealousy in Heterosexual “ Swinging” Couples, by Richard de Visser and Dee Mcdonald attempted to explain how swinging couples manage their jealousy when their partner is sleeping with someone else. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). De Visser and McDonald also sought to understand if jealousy was negative all the time or if it could be used positively for the relationship. (2007). Lastly, the study was performed to see what swinging can do to help others understand relationships. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007).

De Visser and McDonald interviewed four swinger couples, cohabiting from the ages 30 to 50. (2007). They found the couples from websites, newsletters, and swinging organizers. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). The interviews for one couple took place in a therapy room and the other three couples were interviewed in their home. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). They, then, did individual interviews that lasted about 30 minutes and couple interviews that lasted an hour. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007)

TThe participants managed their jealousy by telling themselves that jealousy is a natural mental reaction but that they can choose not to feel that way or not to act on their feelings and instead communicate their feelings. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). One couple said that he chooses not to feel jealous and instead communicates his feelings and tries to explore with swinging and then jealousy doesn’t mean anything anymore. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007).

They also managed their jealousy through boundaries and figuring out what made them jealous. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). The couples would create rules so it was swinging and not an affair and so they would know what was okay and what wasn’t. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). A couple said this helped them to stay within their boundaries but still have freedom. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). Another way they managed their jealousy was preparing to start swinging. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). Some couples did this through communication to know what they are both comfortable or uncomfortable with. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007).

TThe couples’ feelings of jealousy helped their relationships because it improved their communication. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). It impacted their relationships positively when they thought of it as arousing or exciting for themselves and their partners. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). This in turn made them more confident. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007). Sometimes jealousy did impact them negatively by making them feel insecure or threatened their self-esteem. (de Visser & McDonald, 2007).

This reading did not change the way I think about jealousy. It just further emphasized that communication is important in relationships whether they are monogamous or swinging. I did not know much about swinging before this but it was enjoyable to read, but I do not think I would be able to engage in it. Communication was emphasized throughout the whole reading and it portrayed how important it is to know how your partner is feeling and how proper communication can make the relationship better because you are open about boundaries and what you are okay with and not okay with.