- Published: September 14, 2022
- Updated: September 14, 2022
- University / College: Wayne State University
- Language: English
- Downloads: 23
Throughout the centuries, there has existed varying individuals with different sexual orientation. As in the nature of human beings, we always end up hating or fearing what we fail to understand. The individuals with a different sexual orientation than the ‘ norm’ have come be hated and discriminated. The discrimination was severe in the earlier days, and individuals with a different sexual orientation would be severely punished. However, unknown to humanity, some of the sexual acts they term as bizarre has been in the existence ere humanity’s discovery. For example, in the animal kingdom, Hyenas are known to engage in acts of masturbation to satiate their needs. In the human kingdom, such an act is common but dangerously and indirectly prohibited. With time, humanity has come to accept an individual’s acts, lifestyle, and sexual orientation. This acceptance has spread from one country to the other. An epitome of this sexual acceptance is that of homosexuality that is gaining worldwide acclamation.
In my life, I grew up in a holistic and serene environment. I was born and raised in Russia for a large part of my life. In Russia, the only sexual orientation accepted was that of a man and a woman. This fact was drummed into our tiny heads as soon as we could comprehend the workings of our society. My parents were pious individuals who never wasted an opportunity to impart teachings that are more religious. My family and neighbors attended the Orthodox Church. Growing up in my village, everyone knew each other. Even in times that they did not know your name, they could easily identify you with your parents. As such, any negativity could easily turn out to be detrimental to your life. My case can be termed to be of an extreme nature because my father chaired some of the church’s and local meetings. Thus, being the daughter of accomplished parents, life for me meant being in the limelight. Any negative doings would affect my family.
In my case, my journey and struggles with my sexuality has been one long journey. A journey marred by denial, fear, discrimination, and finally acceptance. While growing up, I came to find out that my attraction to individuals of either gender was indiscriminate. In this case, attraction encompasses both normal and sexual attraction. However, I would repeatedly ignore this as normality. I just ignored this fact and only came to be alarmed when the attraction proved to be more than the normal attraction. I would catch myself thinking about the sexual appeal of individuals of both genders. I discovered this fact when I was sixteen. To me, the discovery was horrendous. I had been brought up in a staunch religious setting. Discovering my sexually orientation filled me with untold fear of the repercussions.
As a bisexual, the orientation has untold impact in my life. One such level is that on my family. Due to the piousness of my family, a different from the normally accepted sexual orientation would dent my family’s image. However, I dreaded the fact that my family would discover my yearnings. My parents loved me to the extent that I meant the world to them. Being the last-born meant that I spent my life with them longer than my other siblings did. Another issue that compounded my life was the fact that my other siblings were married, with children, and living their lives. As such, much was expected of me. The villager’s discovery of orientation was set up the day foreign volunteers came into my home village. She was attached with the local Red Cross Society. Our meeting can be termed as one that was pegged on chance. However, after many meetings and conversations, I came to known that she was a lesbian. To my horror, I found out that I was attracted to her. We started hanging out together and soon feel in love with each other.
The journey to my being discovered began one fateful Saturday morning. For months on end, we would go out for picnics in secluded parts; in the village. As a young soul, I had gotten used to the dread of being discovered. I was more inclined to letting people know of my position in life. During that fateful morning, we set of to have some fun in the countryside. Nobody was suspicious because we shared a common gender. However, our choice of the perfect spot came to be our own undoing. In the outskirts of our city, there exist a spot with a high number of palm trees. We chose this spot without the knowledge that the next day was a Palm Sunday. As such, most of the villagers would congregate to collect palms for the mass; the next. During our comfortable moments, a number of the villagers arrived and caught us making out. To make matters worse, some of the individuals present were some of my family’s close friends.
The journey to hostility started soon after this incident. My agitated father was among those who advocated for the transfer of my friend; which happened soon after. From this juncture, I faced untold misery at the hands of family, friends, and the local authorities. To my family, I had greatly shamed their name. To my friends, I had greatly betrayed. To the authorities, I was breaking one of the untold societal ‘ laws’. The hostility grew worse to the extent that one of the villagers attacked me. On this fateful day, I was coming home from the shop. One of the local young men had had an attraction to me for a long time. However, I turned his advances repeatedly. This is because I was happy in my illicit relationship. Due to his misdirected anger, he ambushed and beat me up badly to the extent that my clothes were in tatters. My shame was aggravated by the fact that the authorities sided with these actions.
With the passage of time, bisexuality is slowly gaining root in my country. We, individuals of diverse sexual orientation, are coming to be slowly accepted. The society has come to understand that we are not different from them. Majorly, this has been successful due to the opening of Russia to the world. In particular, people have come to accept that bisexuality is a widespread phenomenon and not just a lifestyle of choice. In my opinion, sexual orientation is something that we are born with and not just something that we pick up as we grow up. For long, the misconstrued perception of us by the society has been the source of untold suffering.