Case study on listening and relationships

Listening and responding verbally and nonverbally is very vital in effective communication. Listening involves receiving, attending to the problem, understanding what one is being told, responding to the messages conveyed and lastly, remembering what was communicated.
In the case study between Parris and her husband, it is very clear that Parris’ husband was not attentive when the wife told him to pick up their daughter after school. Lavar should learn to listen keenly on what the wife communicates to him and also understand the importance of the message being passed to him. Anytime the two are communicating, they should put their differences aside and pay attention to what should be done if not they will put their daughter’s education at stake due to their family conflicts. Lavar should learn to respond to Paris in a positive manner by expressing interest in what she tells him in order not to fail her again. The two should provide each other with undivided attention and also observe each others emotions behind the words being spoken and respond to both the words and emotions.
There are five activities that make up the listening process namely hearing, attending, understanding, responding, and remembering what was communicated. One has to hear the message being communicated through paying attention to what is being said by concentrating. After one is conscious of what has been said, they should analyze the situation on what needs to be done and must understand each other for communication begins with understanding. Then there is responding by reacting to the situation and then the information communicated should be stored in the storage bank for remembrance so as to perform the task that one has been assigned. Lavar did not listen properly because he did not pay attention to what the wife told him that is why he was not even able to remember to pick up their daughter from school. Lack of paying attention made him forget that he was to do something.
There are four listening styles that are used by people depending on their first choice and purpose. To start with is the people oriented style, this is whereby listeners show strong feeling and concern for others. The listener is always empathetic and uses emotions in their arguments. The second style is content-oriented where the listener has more interest in what is being communicated and no interest in whoever is saying it and whatever they feel. They always want to hear everything about the subject so as to make their own opinions. Most listeners in this category sometimes end up in trouble due to ignorance of what they have been told because they will look for pros and cons of what they are told before accepting it. Action oriented is a style where the listeners focus on what should be done, when and who should do them. Lastly there is time oriented whereby the listeners will demand short statements because they feel that their time is already planned for and their focus is always on time. They are listeners whose eyes are always on the clock.

Parris’ employs people oriented listening style because she was very concerned about her daughter’s welfare, she wanted her to be picked up early but the father forgot about it. Lavar’s listening style is content oriented, he listened to what he was told but formed his opinion that the wife can still pick their daughter Sabrina from school and he ended up in trouble with the wife for not doing what he was asked to do. There must be problems between couples with different listening styles because it will be very hard for them to understand each other. Every one will always have his/her own opinion which they both think is right yet it will be contradicting with the other person’s opinion.

In this case study, the main listening barrier was distraction because the couple’s had other conflicts and because of these conflicts, they could not communicate effectively. They were both distracted by what was going on in their lives thus they could not pay attention and listen carefully to what they were communicating to each other. Another barrier was ignorance from Lavar because it was not the first time he failed to pick up their daughter in school, he had done it in the last two weeks and this would likely bring up conflicts between the two. Speaker perception is another communication barrier in this case for Parris should learn how to communicate positively with the husband.

I choose part D, whereby Parris believes that they should both multitask so she continues to tell Lavar to pick up their daughter. In this case, she is making their problems worse because she is forcing the husband to multi-task and this makes him fake his attention for he repeats the same mistake of forgetting to pick her up. Lavar does not take it as a responsibility but does it when he wants just to impress the wife and to avoid conflicts. The path she takes creates more problems since the problem she thought she was solving still exists between them for her reactions of forcing her husband to multi-task like her makes things worse.

Parris should talk to her husband in a positive way and clarify with him when he should pick their daughter and when she will be doing it. Parris should sit down with the husband as a family and try to identify and solve the existing conflicts in order for them to have an effective communication and understand each other as couples. Another way she can enhance their communication is by treating the husband with respect by not forcing him to do things and listen carefully to his opinions on how they can be picking their daughter.